If having native prehistoric alpha predators walk across your roads is not enough for Floridians, the occasional Florida Man will import one… with expected results.

The original title of this article was:

Florida man attacked and killed by large flightless bird

It has since been updated to:

Florida man attacked and killed by his cassowary, the ‘world’s most dangerous bird’

I like the original title more.

A large, flightless bird native to Australia and New Guinea attacked and killed its owner on a farm in Florida, according to authorities.

The man, identified by police as 75-year-old Marvin Hajos, raised cassowaries and was injured after falling on a path near their enclosure Friday, according to Alachua County Fire Rescue Deputy Chief Jeff Taylor. Paramedics found Hajos just after 10 a.m. on Friday and transported him to the hospital where he died of his injuries, police said.

Cassowaries are similar to emus and stand up to 6 feet tall and weigh up to 130 pounds, with black body feathers and bright blue heads and necks. The San Diego Zoo’s website calls cassowaries the world’s most dangerous bird with a four-inch, dagger-like claw on each foot.

That isn’t a bird.  That is a fucking velociraptor.

Giant toe claws and bright blue color?

Could be from Australia, could be from Isla Nubar, and Florida Man decided to bring one home as a pet.

I’ve seen Jurassic Park, I know how that movie ends.  Apparently Florida Guy didn’t.

Welcome to the Sunshine State.  Where if the gangs don’t kill you, the dinosaurs will.


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By J. Kb

3 thoughts on “Speaking of dinosaurs in Florida”
  1. Florida is already tied with Australia for “place most full of deadly critters”, and this dude wanted to import more critters?

    1. First time visit to your site, linked from Instapundit. “Redneck Jew and a Hispanic Catholic.” Describes my house perfectly. I will be back.

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