Today is March 19 and while the media is blabbing about the Super Moon and conspiracy theorists are trying to concoct direct relationships between tsunamis and celestial bodies, we of the Catholic faith celebrate St. Joseph‘s day.

We shouldn’t be worry about cataclysmic events brought by tides of subterranean lava upon the crust of the planet or sudden blizzards in the Sahara or locust falling in waves over the Midwest. That is just silly talk by people who have nothing better to do than speculate during the commercial breaks between Judge Judy and  Dr. Phil.

However, we should worry about the real threat: Werewolves!

But even then we should not have to worry much. As I said earlier today is St. Joseph’s and he’ll be our back up if we must face any lycanthrope or even a pissed off pit bull.Think about it: St. Joe was Jesus’ Dad on Earth, sort of Foster Parent to the Son of God. Not the easiest of jobs if you ask me. And you know Jesus went through the normal stages kids have. Imagine a 2 year old with the power to bring about another Flood throwing a tantrum? You know St. Joe dealt with that in a cool way. I can see St. Joe saying “No, you cannot have more dessert even if you can multiply it. Finish your Brussels sprouts.” Or even, “I don’t care if you can play a mean harp, you are not forming a band. You are going to rabbinical school. And get a haircut.”

Jesus turned out more than OK and we owe it in great part to St. Joseph. So, tonite when the werewolf howls, having his spirit out there as backup makes me feel much better. You know he’ll take the meanest of them with a wooden mallet and a chisel.