This is what happens when you teach your children “Violence solves nothing.” They become punching bags.
GRAPHIC FOOTAGE: This was filmed in a school in @ClarkCountySch. A student viciously attacks another student and appears to knock her out. Teacher and other students watch and do nothing. Horrifying. pic.twitter.com/J9E2DVns7W
— Libs of Tik Tok (@libsoftiktok) February 6, 2022
The daughter of a friend of mine was having issues with a couple of girls from her school. Dad tried to resolve the issue the amicable and sensitive way, but the school officials were not helpful. He eventually went one last time, spoke to the principal and advised he had given her daughter green light to use whatever force was necessary to defend herself with her family’s full back up and that they were ready to go to the press with a detailed record of all the meetings and discussions about the bullying. He also told her not to be surprised if their suddenly hear about a student getting stabbed in the neck with a pencil during class.
Problem was solved pretty much the next day.
I had issues like this in school… until I told staff if it happens again I will bring a bat to school and beat to death the bullies. The early 80s was the start of “kumbyya” schools. When you got tired of bullies and defended yourself YOU got in trouble. It will never change until We the People change it.
My son had reported that he was being bullied in shop class. Admin did nothing
I didn’t really know about it until I got cashed in to pick him up from school.
Seems he had had enough and after being teased one to many times turned and punched the bully hard. My son happened to have a file in his hand at the time.
Principal was very upset. I listened closely then turned to my son and said “Well done! If they continue to bully and attack you hit them again. But harder until they don’t want to ever touch you again.”
“But we’ll have to suspend him!” Yelled the principal.
“You do what you have to do. The best thing you can do is to stop the bullying. In the mean time I’m taking my son to his favorite restaurant where he can order whatever he wants. I am so proud of him for standing up for himself.”
Amazingly enough there was no more bullying of my son. Admin sent out the word and the teachers made sure it didn’t happen.
You know that I was a teacher for 7 years. The reason that students and teachers won’t help is because of school policies. Any student who is involved in a fight for any reason is disciplined. If you are the third student who steps into a fight, expulsion for the remainder of the school year is automatic. Any teacher who lays hands on a student for any reason is summarily terminated.
I have mixed feelings on this.
On the one hand, it sucks that students can’t defend themselves, but there is a reason why these policies are in place.
Kids suck at nuance. Frequently, students will prearrange a fight, as in “Meet me at the tree after school.” Then when they do so, one of the students tries to claim self defense in a case of what is obviously mutual combat.
Or a student will jump in as the third person in a fight, saying “I am not about to watch someone punch my cousin. I was raised that you always protect family.”
Then there is simple lying. Students will lie and their friends will swear to their version of the story. The investigation of a fight quickly devolves into a he said/she said debate with many conflicting stories.
Then the parents get involved. “My baby would never do that.” or even “I told her that the next time that bitch bullied her, to take her out.”
The story told by therefore is a great example of that. We know as adults that teasing and taunting are not grounds for self defense. If another adult calls you names or makes fun of you, you simply do not have the right to punch them. Especially not while using a weapon like a file. Attacking another person over words isn’t a legal justification for fighting, and that doesn’t change just because you and your tormenter are 14 years old.
Nowadays, it goes beyond simple school discipline. It has gotten so bad, that schools are now having students arrested and criminal charges filed.
Even the video in this post doesn’t tell the entire story. Perhaps we are seeing the tail end of a longer fight in which the girl who was knocked out was the aggressor.
So for those reasons, students and teachers don’t get involved.
From what I can tell from the local (Boston area) news, these events are very common and do NOT result in criminal charges. The only visible response is platitudes and handwringing from mentally defective school administrators.
So to repeat my questions from below:
When the other child(ren) make the counter accusation that it was YOUR child that was the bully, then what? Do you believe them? Or do you believe your child? How do you handle it?
This is the reality every day in school. You catch two kids fighting, and both of them each claim that it was the other kid who started it. They each have friends who swear that their friend is the one telling the truth. Now what?
To be clear, my son was being pushed, shoved, tripped and hit. These were physical actions against him. The rules to him were very clear, never ever be the first to use physical force, but it he was responding do so well and with an end in mind.
Until the threat is stopped.
Sometimes, especially when bullying is involved, you just have to move educators out of their self righteous comfort zones. When it comes to bullying they talk a good game but too often do nothing.
Sometimes, make that most times, it seems old school still works better than kumbyya. Doesn’t change much in “the real world” after you get out of school.
Kudos to that father for his spot on assessment and handling of the problem. I’m especially impressed with the life lesson he passed on to his son. Bureaucrats can do the right thing when properly motivated!
About 25 years ago I started using this phrase when I felt like the people who were ultimately responsible for addressing the situation were not doing enough:
“You can solve the problem, or {I/he/they} can solve the problem. Which one do you think looks worse for you?”
I’ve never had to solve the problem myself. They look at the situation and follow the path of least resistance, now that they know there’s a path they hadn’t fully considered and that the “do nothing” path was no longer available.
The only time I had pushback was when a childcare worker said that they’d have me arrested if I intervened. I calmly explained to them the multi-year legal process that would involve them having to take vacation time in their next job if that happened, and the problem was fixed that afternoon.
and when the other child(ren) make the counter accusation that it was YOUR child that was the bully? Do you believe them? Or do you believe your child? How do you handle it?
This is the reality every day in school. You catch two kids fighting, and both of them each claim that it was the other kid who started it. They each have friends who swear that their friend is the one telling the truth. Now what?
Kids lie. Your kids lie. The other kids lie. I promise you that your kids are lying to you on a daily basis and are doing things in school you never thought they would do. It’s made even worse by the parents who believe every word that their child is telling them. I have seen parents who will believe their child, even with overwhelming evidence to the contrary. The child learns very quickly the words that he needs to use in order to weaponize his parents against the teachers and the other kids at his school.
This leaves the school with a couple of options. One is to completely investigate every fight, disagreement, and bullying accusation. There is so much of it and it is so pervasive that it just isn’t feasible. The only feasible answer is to have a blanket policy that suspends every kid involved in every fight, with no exceptions. It isn’t perfect, but it is the only possible action.
Buddy’s daughter got a two week suspension for defending herself in HS.
Some boy was bullying every girl he could, hitting, punching, pushing, etc… One day, his daughter was the target, and she was having none of it. After a few seconds of trying to de-escalate, she started hitting back. And the principal suspended her for defending herself.
Reason? A no-tolerance policy. Does not matter why you hit another student, you are out. Zero tolerance policy is a substitute for thinking.
A few months later, this boy actually ended up sexually assaulting another girl. The principal is very lucky it was not my buddy’s daughter.
Policy, especially these “feel good, hugs all around” policies are going to be the end of civlization.
Hope she did some permanent damage to him. Second best way to handle a bully is to put him in the hospital.
My first grade, biracial, daughter, was being physically harassed by a group of other children. Her 3rd grade older brother stepped in.
Chat with school. I observed that This Was Going To Stop, RFN. Either admin would
, effectively, end it, or I would.
Then, falsely, I noted “I do not mind going back to prison”, with my best sociopathic smile.
Oddly enough, it stopped.
You’re lucky you didn’t get served with a restraining order.
The biggest bullies in the school stand at the front of the classroom…
Another way to intimidate the Administration is to bring a lawyer. Especially if you are a woman, a minority, or have not had any action taken the last time.
Don’t bring the local real estate and will lawyer (unless he/she is an angery bulldog). Bring a lawyer that the local administrators do not know, or one that has made their lives miserable in the past.