Coast Guard deploys boats to deter ‘pirates’ taking over Oakland estuary, officials say

Pirates are taking over the Oakland Estuary Marinas. Yes, pirates. And local and federal authorities says it’s getting so bad – the U.S. Coast Guard is deploying help to patrol the area.

“Boat owners attacked by pirates,” said Oakland Mayor Sheng Thao. “There are no excuses for that.”

The vessels abandoned are covered in graffiti – left like a battleground scene of an action movie.

“We’re talking about piracy,” de Lappe said. “People who are living aboard marinas are being terrorized by these elements coming in at night in small dinghies.”

Why would be assume that the massive increase in property crime in California would be limited to land.

The same lack of prosecution and enforcement applies to California waterways as well.

Just as looting is skyrocketing on land, piracy is skyrocketing off shore.

It’s just too bad that you can’t shoot pirates in California like you can off the coast of Somalia.

That might prove to be an effective deterrent.

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By J. Kb

5 thoughts on “The California coast is now the Somali coast”
  1. When attacked by pirates:
    Step 1: Hightail it to international waters.
    Step 2: Open fire at the dinghy. Aim for the craft itself, right at the waterline. Even better if it’s an inflatable.
    Step 3: After the threat is ended, calmly proceed back to U.S. territorial waters.
    Three S’s for dealing with pirates: Shoot, Scuttle, Shut up.
    (Yes, this is terrible advice. It’s offered as satire. Deal with it. 😉 )

  2. This is actually a good thing because liberal policies are starting to effect LIBERALS and the rich and shameless…. Regular Americans can’t afford to “live at the marina “…. Whats the knee deep navy gonna do?? Yell at them??

    1. I worked with a guy who lived on a houseboat on the California coast for several years. It was far cheaper than trying to buy a house, and less expensive than rent, so he told me, in a lot of places in the Bay Area. He was definitely not rich, and knew a number of people who did the same thing. Still keeps his keys on a ring attached to a big cork float. 🙂
      It’s also a thing for tech workers to live in RVs parked on the street. Same principle, different set of tradeoffs, I suppose.

  3. Sorry, California citizens, you can’t respond properly to pirates because you can have neither (a) .50 BMG nor (b) a Ma Deuce with which to utilize it.

Only one rule: Don't be a dick.

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