Growing up, my best friend was of Venezuelan heritage. Going to his house, I loved eating his mother’s cooking. Especially at Christmas time. Areapas, hallacas, pan de jamon, paella, all were excellent.
So I’ve been thinking about opening up a Venezuelan restaurant. Not here in Alabama, but in one of those deep blue states where millionaire celebrities who defended Hugo Chaves lives and the college kids will tell you that Venezuela is not real socialism.
Here’s my idea.
Patrons would come in, go to the counter, place an order, and pay.
No matter what they ordered, they’d be given a plate of rotting garbage picked out of the dumpster from the restaurant next door.
If they complain, the waiter will beat them with a stick.
With very little expenses – no need to buy food, toilet paper, or cooking equipment – I should be rather profitable.
If this works out, I might open an authentic North Korean restaurant with the same business model too.
Sadly, in some parts of Venezuela, “Dumpster Dive Cuisine” from an American restaurant would be considered eating high on the hog. To get the true socialist experience, pricing should be based on ability to pay: A List celebs $500, B listers $250, etc.
You mean based on political connections? “The Aristocracy of Pull” as Ayn Rand put it so nicely.
In the North Korean restaurant, only those beating others with sticks get to eat the garbage.
May I nominate Uptown or Dinkytown in Minneapolis Minnesota?
I am available for part time work. I have had eight years of waiting and bussing experience. And as a southpaw, I would surprise the average Progressive.