Judge: “Will the defendant please rise.”

Defendant:

The Prosecutor: “We charge the defendant with…”

Me: “Let me guess.  Kiddie diddling?”

Judge: “Juror number 3 is dismissed.”

Judge: “Will the defendant please rise.”

Defendant:

The Prosecutor: Clears throat

Me: “He raped a bunch of kids, didn’t he?  Oh yeah, he’s guilty.”

Judge: “You again, get out!”

It’s not my fault, they just all seem to have a look to them.

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By J. Kb

4 thoughts on “This why I will probably never be allowed to serve on a jury”
  1. I had no idea who that first person was, so before I clicked the link I did an image search for that photo.

    Want to know what comes up?

    The Republican Senate President in Arizona, Karen Fann, who is decidedly not the person in that photo.

    You have to get to the fourth page of results before you get one legit result.

    1. OK, so I had to try the reverse image search too.
      Bing got it right the first time.
      Google, TinEye, and Yandex all seem to be responding more to the background (and possibly the pose) than to the face. Interesting.

  2. I was called for jury duty on a gun smuggling case, New Yorkers buying in Texas and taking them back home. During voir dire the prosecutor asked each of the first five if they were members of the NRA, as the last question. After asking me he turned to #6 and started talking. I interrupted and stated “you didn’t ask the right question.” He turned by to me, as only a snot nosed a$$hole can, and asked “well, what question is that?” By this time the judge and the ones he was whispering too had stopped and everybody was focused on the ignorant prospective juror, me, correcting an edumacated a$$wipe. I stated “you didn’t ask if I’m a member of Texas State Rifle Association.” I loved the expression on his fugly mug when I told him I’m a paid up lifetime member. The judge and everyone else laughed. Needless to say, I was out of there in record time.
    Good times.

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