1. What is a gun?

2. Just stencil “Frigidaire” on the gun safe.

   Government stooge: “what’s that?”
   Me: “beer fridge.”
   Stooge: “why is there a handle and lock on it?”
   Me: “keeps the neighborhood kids out of it.”

   1. Paint it gloss white?

3. And, seriously, who would answer truthfully to a pollster calling to see if you have guns in your house? What if they just said, “do you have any valuable objects in your house that are really easy to sell on the black market?” Why would anyone answer that? How can you know that it’s really a pollster on the phone, and not the equivalent of trying the door knob to see if it’s open and no one is home?

4. Sure I got guns. You think I go to the gym for my health?

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