I don’t share a lot about my personality, but this one need to be told. Among my many flaws it is known by the closest ones to me that I can hold a grudge for a very long time. Mind you, not for stupid petty stuff, but if your wronged me or mine purposedly, you can count to be in my shit list till amends are made or other stuff happens to the wrongdoer.

I think this has to be 1970, not sure. I am in the first row. You get to guess which of the angelical faces is yours truly.

And that brings us to the story. In elementary school I was the torture subject of four bullies. Pretty much since the day I started elementary school I would get pushed, punched, spit on, my stuff thrown all over the place in a weekly basis just because these assholes found it funny. To say they made my life a living hell would be accurate. Amazingly and I guess due to having inherited the stubbornness of my Galician Mountain men forefathers, I outlasted the Four Assholes of the Apocalypse in elementary school. They eventually left the school for various reasons including family bankruptcy, drug and behavioral problems, etc. But the four assholes were deeply embedded in my brain and I wished them to suffer as I did. Karma happened to two of them, I won’t be specific, but one became a shadow of a human and the other had his family collapse in a spectacular manner. The third one I met again in a high school outing, but by then I was no longer the little mousy kid but actually taller than this idiot. He grabbed my ass (A mortal sin back then) and suddenly found himself having to go to the ER to get some stitches in the scalp after somehow a mysterious force tried to shove his head through the window of a school bus. I don’t know, magic? Avenging spirits?

I lost track of the last guy. He was a particularly vicious individual and even though through the years I asked several people who went to school with us, nobody knew other than knowing he was still alive and moved to the western part of Venezuela. I figured that since two of the other bullies had already been dealt by Lady Karma, chances were that this guy may have suffered a similar faith, but the bug of not knowing was always there.

Fast forward 5 decades. This past December, the South Park people released “Post Covid: The Return of Covid” which happens in the future and then in our present. One of the shockers is that notoriously antisemite Eric Cartman is now a Rabbi with a loving family he is trying to keep safe.

And now you know what is going to happen to me, right? This week I finally found about my fourth bully whereas I had to laugh and shake my head at the absurdity: He had become a Catholic priest.

I don’t know the details, but from what little I could gather, he has been one for a long time and is still doing God’s work. I had to look up to the Heavens and say to Him: “You do have a truly twisted sense of humor, don’t you? Not only you gave The Calling to an asshole but waited for me to watch the South Park thing before I finally found out whatever became of him and you got a good chuckle.”

Anyway, that officially closes my oldest page in the grudge book. I will say it feels good to finally have exorcised that part of my life.

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By Miguel.GFZ

Semi-retired like Vito Corleone before the heart attack. Consiglieri to J.Kb and AWA. I lived in a Gun Control Paradise: It sucked and got people killed. I do believe that Freedom scares the political elites.

One thought on “When God pulls a South Park on me.”
  1. Um, did I get this right? A kid who specialized in abusing a smaller boy joined the profession best known for abusing young boys? Doesn’t exactly sound like benevolent karma to me.

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