Meet Iris Varela.

She is an old Chavista, basically since the beginning of the revolution and a couple of steps behind Chavez. She is a foul and disgusting creature who enjoyed bullying people adverse to her when the revolution was in its infancy and up to the point of showing up unexpectedly to a TV station and attacking a news pundit live because the day before he had said something unkind about her.

But as bully and disgusting as this little bundle of communist fascism can be, do not make the mistake of underestimating her as she is the Éminence grise behind the roving band of armed political enforcers known as Los Colectivos. She nurtured them, saw the row and released them into the wild and they repay her by being absolutely loyal to her and the revolution. It is hard to know how many thousands of people have been killed by her goons and probably we will never know.

Not too long ago, sh was named Minister of Prisons Affairs, a move that initially did not make much sense because she nows about running prisons as much as I know how to knit a sweater out of wool still attached to an alpaca. But then she fielded a strange request to president Maduro: 30,000 rifles. It was then that the information leaked: she will form a private army of violent pardoned felons  who will trade their pardons for service to her and the revolution “against the upcoming invasion by US Marines.”

There are leaked videos of sworn-in convicts standing at attention and a spokesperson thanking the Minister for the chance she is giving them and assuring they are willing to die for the Revolution. Of course, since there is no invasion coming, this is nothing but Iris increasing her power over the little people…ahem…the comrades.

In other news; Six years later, Venezuela’s Law for the Disarmament still has not yet achieved a reduction in deaths (other than by fudging stats), but the Government assures us that the results will be seen soon by everybody.