Wholly owned subsidiary

So we put on Despicable Me 3 on TV because we wanted a movie we all could enjoy (me, the wife, the four year old).

The boy started asking questions about the bad guy.

My wife then tried to explain why the bad guy is a bad guy.

I put in my two cents: “He’s just misunderstood.”

“He’s the bad guy.”

“Yes, but he performs a vital service.  Without a super villain in, how can you have super heroes.  Besides, it looks like he’s a really good inventor.”

This conversation continued until I proposed that when I start my own firm, I’m going to open a wholly owned subsidiary called:

Ethically Dubious Labs, Inc.

Thank you for calling Ethically Dubious Labs, Incorporated.  For raptor breeding press 1, for mutagenic bioweapon virus engineering press 2, to graft a municipal employee into a robotic life support suit please press 3, for sentient killer robots please press 4, for genetically engineers super soldiers or slave labor please press 5, for all other inquiries, please press 0 and someone will assist you.”

The answer from my wife was “obviously no.”

I’m still getting business cards made.

3 Replies to “Wholly owned subsidiary”

  1. Don’t forget your villain name.

    We watched Incredibles last night. Too bad Baron von Ruthless is already taken, as I really liked it. Instead … I’m thinking of Marquis de Bad.

    Now all I need is a tbm to put in the lair … One of the advantages of living near a cliff, we have a great start on the hidden entrance.

  2. Are you hiring? I am willing to work in secret underground labs and am able to laugh maniacally at will. My only stipulations are no red uniforms, not being first to check out a weird noise, and I am not referred to as ” Scientist 1,2,3″ etc.I anxiously await your response!

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