CBMT Tek said to Hagar:
Thoughts on this fiasco?
If the left really wants to live in a Star Trek tolerance level of society, why the automatic leap to “hate” and “…phobe?” It is almost as if the left cannot imagine anyone can disagree with them unless they “hate” them. Someone misgenders you, and it is apparently the end of the world. Why? Because the allure of power is too overwhelming, and shutting down the UK PM over a statement he made is power.
Granted, I see that from the right as well, but not as frequently. (Then again, my personal biases may be at play)
So… I have a ton to say and I’m not entirely sure how to say it. Let me give it a go here.
Part the first: I don’t believe it’s as simple as, “A man is a man, and a woman is a woman.” According to Yale, there are two biological genders: male and female. According to some other scientists there are six genders, or 27, or some other odd number. Per the National Institute of Health, there are two main genders, male and female, and other outliers that sometimes happen, but that basically if there’s a Y in the mix of chromosomes, it’s a male, and if there’s no Y, it’s female. These biological genders may OR MAY NOT match the sexual organs exterior to the body. It’s possible, for instance, for a person with both Xs and Ys in their genes to have genitals that we perceive as female, but they are still male no matter whether they have breasts, ovaries, or even female hormones. Essentially, chromosomes are the only way to actually determine someone’s biological gender.
I personally believe that people under the age of 18 should be restricted from making irreversible life-altering changes to their bodies. That includes, but is not limited to, tattoos, piercings, circumcision, sexual organs, etc. Those changes should be made under only two circumstances. Either you’re 18 (old enough to vote, live on your own, and to give consent that is at least somewhat informed), or there’s a medical emergency that requires something happen (such as an emergency hysterectomy due to cancer, or something along those lines). I am somewhat okay with those 16 and older getting piercings with parental consent, but I’d be absolutely fine with it being 18, as well.
I also believe that if a person under 18 wants to wear a dress, then let them. If they want to wear pants, fine. If they want to be called Suzie, go for it. So long as it isn’t interfering in school learning, and doesn’t break a school dress code (which, I should be blunt here, should be 100% applicable to any gender), have at. A kid of any gender wearing a skirt to English class doesn’t disrupt the class unless someone makes it disrupt the class. I don’t care. If a school says everyone has to wear pants or shorts to gym, then that’s fine, so long as it applies to everyone. If bellies can’t be shown, the boys can’t be going around in cut off shirts. Rules need to apply to everyone equally. And there must be some consistency. If you sign up at school as Suzie, then you need to STAY Suzie for the whole damn year. What your friends and others call you is up t you, but if you register under a name, that’s the name you’re stuck with until you register the next school year, with your legal name also being on record. Done and done. Someone makes a mistake about he/she or names, take a deep fucking breath and move on after a gentle correction.
The more fuss you make over this, the bigger an issue it becomes. You cannot stop it happening. All you can do is be a good influence on those it’s happening to. I have a they/them kid. Drives me nuts. As someone with adult friends who have transitioned, I can say that I don’t see the mental issues in my kid that I saw in those friends. But I don’t tell my kid not to use they/them, because there’s no point to it. All that would do is drive a wedge between us, and stop them from talking to me about important things. So said kid wears what they want, provided it doesn’t break school rules. I don’t care. But said kid will NOT do any medical changes until they’re an adult. And because I’ve been open about communication and support, and that I love my kid, the kid understands. They are supportive of this idea, because THEY have been supported. Also, they are going to therapy. Not because “being trans means you’re mentally ill,” but because as a teen, there’s a lot of pressure on you and I want you to get to know YOURSELF before you go changing yourself. And again, that’s been generally well received from them, because there’s no other restrictions or hate or shade thrown at them.
Rules, though, need to apply to everyone. I said it before, and I will continue to say it. So if you’ll let a woman wear a dress and stand in a fountain, then you have to let a man do it. If you’ll let a man join the army, you have to let a woman do it (if they can meet the same criteria, btw… if they don’t have the skills for the job, then they shouldn’t get hired, regardless of what lies between their thighs). You get the general idea. This applies in the other direction as well. I wouldn’t let a straight white woman bare her breasts during a protest or parade, so I don’t want anyone else doing it either. While I am happy enough to be a naturalist by nature, I do so in places where everyone can consent, NOT in public.
With all suggested laws, rules, etc… I ask myself: Would I want Trump to wield this power? Would I want Biden to wield this power? Would I want Harris to wield this power? If I say no to any of those, then I should not be passing the law/rule/whatever. It’s often a Leftist tactic to enact a rule while they’re in office, then try and remove it when the Right is in office, because feelz. That’s not cool.
To go back to the original tack of this discussion, it has seemed to me for a while that many Black folk, and quite a lot of LGBT folk, seem to be wanting to self-segregate. Having fought hard to have the same freedoms, rights, and responsibilities as any other American, they are now pushing themselves back into corners where only people like them are around them. This is counterintuitive, and bad in general. When it comes to trans people, there’s a rather large movement of the rest of us in the alphabet soup who’d really like to see them go away. And that’s a sad thing to say, because generally speaking, it shouldn’t be a problem. If an adult woman decides she’s never felt comfortable in her own body (whether because she has unfortunately got an XY in her chromosomes, or just because mentally that’s how she is), I don’t have a problem with her deciding to become him. I will do my best to remember that person’s labels. Sometimes I’ll mess up, and I’ll apologize, and move on. But I’m not going to get screamed at for forgetting.
I have a friend who is biologically male, and is trans. She has never had surgery, mostly because when her child was growing up, she felt that he didn’t need to be confused. She stayed “dad” until that child was an adult. She still presents as male once in a while, for legal purposes (driver’s license, court stuff). But mostly she wears women’s clothing, make up, etc. She will never, EVER pass as female. She’s six foot tall and has a voice like a manly man. She has stubble. But she’s found happiness, and I’m happy FOR her. She self describes as “a girl with boy bits.” When looking at her, I have visual clues (dresses, make up) to remember she/her. Never a problem. When I think about her, same thing. I think of her in a dress, because it’s how I’ve always known her. But if she is talking and I’m not looking at her… I forget. Because she sounds like a manly man. She’s never taken offense to being misgendered accidentally. People who misgender her on purpose, just to be mean, she simply doesn’t stay around.
Those visual cues are a thing, btw. I have plenty of trans friends from the 90s onward, who did their absolute best to pass as the gender they chose. Some were absolutely horrid at it, and others you’d never have known unless you got into their pants (and in a few cases, not even then, thanks to plastic surgery). But they worked at being the gender they’d chosen. Most still do. It’s the ones that seem to want to “mingle” genders… beards and dresses, for instance, or garish make up with 2 foot long nails… those are the ones I often have problems with. They’re welcome to do what they want, being adults, but I’m going to make mistakes in gendering because there is nothing to base my guess on. If they get upset over that, well… that’s their problem, not mine. Those few are spoiling it for the rest, and it’s a damn shame.
So now I’ve written way more than intended, and I’m going to let you go.