In an extreme effort to stamp out unfriendly competition, a youth soccer group in Midlake, Ontario, is eliminating soccer balls from their games and forcing kids to pretend they’re kicking a ball around.
“This year to address some of the negative effects of competition, we’ve actually removed the ball,” said Helen Dabney-Coyle of Midlake’s Soccer Association, OpposingViews.com reported. “And the kids are loving it.”
via Youth soccer league: No balls, scoring to halt ‘negative effects of competition’ – Washington Times.
Dear God, please somebody tell me this is a bad joke. If not, I propose we start bitchslapping some people that truly deserve it.
UPDATE: Yes, I was half asleep and did not see the disclaimer….
As noted in the article comments, it is satirical.
Just need to hope this doesn’t give the Democrats any ideas.
I can only suggest that we PRETEND to pay the people who think up this crap.
In a world where there is no competition, there is stagnation.
“I can only suggest that we PRETEND to pay the people who think up this crap.”
Winner! [standing ovation]
As soon as the Laserlyte Lasers with targets arrive they`ll be shooting IDPA….I hear…. 🙂
Editor’s note: The following is a story based on satire originally created by OpposingViews.com
The sad thing is it was so believable.
That’s what makes good satire, although as some comments noted it’s awfully close to being real. Sad indeed.
If the note weren’t there I’d probably have believed it, it’s not the craziest thing I’ve heard that’s for sure.
…
The Foch…
Editor’s note: The following is a story based on satire originally created by OpposingViews.com
I went through grade school in Oklahoma City in the late fifties and early sixties. Among other things, we had to quit playing baseball at recess. Soft ball was allowed. We didn’t really like softball, because of the size of the ball, so we started playing using a tennis ball. We had to stop that because it looked too much like a baseball, and they were getting calls complaining about it. Therein lies the truth of the “greatest generation”. Lots of the were just as nutty as today’s Soccer moms
When my kid started soccer (age 5, 6 or 7, I forget). No one kept score…except for the kids. We had to pretend we didn’t know the score or who scored the most goals. It was the People’s Republic of California. I’ve moved. There’s enough money to get me to return…but no one will give it to me.
We had to play kickball at the school I went to in the 70’s,Since bats were not allowed on campus. It had the same rules as baseball, but the pitcher rolled the big bouncy ball to the kicker.