I am embarrassed to say that after all my experiences with people refusing to learn First Aid basics like CPR and Heimlich, it was not until today that I come to find out Florida does not have mandatory teaching of these two basic life-saving procedures in school.

What the flock is wrong with Florida Schools and Legislators? (Rhetorical question)

I got my first CPR training back in the 70s when it was like 18 steps to take and we had to memorize them. Nowadays it is simplified to about 4 and it takes about thirty minutes of training for a whole bunch of people to be certified in both CPR and Heimlich plus walking away with a cute CPR shield in a key ring pouch.

When we moved to Miami, the Hialeah Fire Department offered a fantastic class that covered CPR according to age and the same for Heimlich. Also how to talk to 911 to give the proper information and not freak during the event. My last training was about 3 years ago and we are down to doing compressions at the beat of “Staying Alive.”  Hey, if it works, don’t knock it. The point is, if you don’t have the training, if your family does not have the training, specially the young ones, it needs to be taken.

And please do not stop there. See what other basic First Aid stuff you can learn. Blood Loss Prevention and whatever else you can stuff your brain with. It is amazing what life-saving techniques do to your feelings of Self Reliance.

Charlie Manson is finally joining Hell.

Helter Skelter, you bitch.

Update: As of 7:24 PM EST, apparently the fuck is still alive.

The landscaper dropped by today to take care of my “lawn.”

I call it “lawn” because it is about 50% weed and 50% St Augustine Grass which is just one chromosome above being a weed itself, it is basically miniature Elephant Grass. We cannot have all the fancy soft stuff that you find up north like bluegrass as it would not make it through the end of March without spontaneously combusting. The weed part? I got tired of paying up the ass for bags Feed and Weed crap. Oh yes, they work, but the grass would grow 3 inches overnight and  it would require the services of the landscaper three times a week.

And let’s face it, we have a lawn to conform with the neighbors. I do believe that more than one male suburbanite would cover at least the backyard in concrete and get several cars jacked up or a couple of basketball courts with dogs roaming around pooping everywhere and you don’t caring because you’d have high pressure water systems ready to clean up. Most of the time, the missus wants colorful perennials and annuals with fragrance that makes everything look pretty and compete with Mary Sue next door and Jenn across the street.

The joys of home ownership…yay!

From Drudge Report:

I think you can only call it successful if you actually transplanted it in a living body.

This is the doctor who performed the procedure. Is it me or does he look like a compilation of all the movie’s evil scientist from the 50s and 60s?

Stole a post from Greg  Ellifritz from Active Response Training.

After taking my gazillionth shoplifting report tonight, I think I’ll share a trend that most of you may not know about….
A lot of heroin addicts are professional shoplifters. They aren’t stealing food for themselves, they steal items to sell to “mom-and-pop” corner grocery stores or immigrant-owned convenience marts in the ghetto. These small store owners pay the addicts 50% of the selling price of the items they steal. The addicts run a cart load of groceries out of a store, sell them at the quickie-mart in the hood and then have dope money for a week.
The item that is most in demand is the Tide brand “POD” laundry detergent packs. These are single serving packages of laundry detergent. They come in bottles that have 20-50 little “pods” that each do a single load of laundry. In the hood, the 24 pack of pods you get at the grocery store is broken down into singles and sold for a higher profit to clueless customers who either can’t do math or don’t have enough money to spend on a full gallon of laundry detergent.
I would guess that 75% of our large shoplifting heists over the past few years have involved Tide Pods. My guy tonight stole four bottles of pods and two cases of beer.
So think about this, if each bottle of pods is roughly 50 loads of laundry, how many bottles would the average consumer buy at the grocery store? Unless there is a great sale and the person is stocking up, the answer is “one.”
Keep an eye out while you are doing your grocery shopping. When you see a person loading a whole shopping cart full of laundry pods, stay away. It’s a good bet the person is about to make a run out the door with his cart full of loot.
If given the chance, he’ll steal your purse, wallet, or car too. Be alert. Watch out for the people with a whole bunch of laundry pods in their carts.

A quick check on our local Craiglist gave results. Now, not saying one thing or the other since we know that site is beyond reproach in its offered commerce and intentions by its users.

Anyway, it is good to know. I sure as hell was unaware of it. And no, legalizing heroine use is NOT gonna reduce the shoplifting or other drug-related crimes, they will just simply will not be tallied.

OK, just a coincidence, but those two post appeared in that order in my Facebook wall and I just had to share.

National Weather Service hazardous advisory for my zone. Realize I am 12 miles away from the Atlantic Ocean.

Somehow I don’t think my lake is gonna be having the riptide issue.