War against US

Personally, I don’t think we would have a dust-off with the Canadians. And it has nothing to do with the Canadians ability to do warfare (you’d be a fool to dismiss them) but… because they are Canadians! I mean, they are too nice, they would be apologizing before the first shot is taken and let’s face it: we can be pricks, but to Canadians? No way.

What I envision happening is the two armies meeting at the border and talks begin.  Somebody will come up with the idea of a week-long hockey tournament to at least have some sort of “battle” going and then figure out what to do. Soon after the tournament starts, capitalism takes over and between barrels of Jack Daniels, Sam Adams, Molson and Crown Royal, things go downhill.

A week later, Canadians and Americans warriors wake up with humongous headaches in a strange hotel in an even stranger city. Hookers everywhere, the rooms trashed, fires burning in the parking lot. A groggy Canadian Colonel sees that a Marine PFC, looking worse for wear and sipping a hot cup of MRE coffee is watching TV. Rubbing his eyes, the Colonel asks him what in the hellacious is going on. The PFC responds:

“I am not sure, Sir. I don’t remember much after the semifinals began. But according to the news here in that TV, it says that we invaded Mexico and Americans have a New territory called Nuevo Texas. Your guys have a new province called New Gretzky and that the natives in Acapulco are pissed off because the Québécois have taken over the town and refuse to speak anything but French.”

At least, that is the way I see it happening.

PS: if you like SciFi with heavy warfare, you should look up Michael Z. Williamson.  I am not a SciFi fan, but enjoy his Freehold series immensely.

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By Miguel.GFZ

Semi-retired like Vito Corleone before the heart attack. Consiglieri to J.Kb and AWA. I lived in a Gun Control Paradise: It sucked and got people killed. I do believe that Freedom scares the political elites.

8 thoughts on “Hypothetical: War against US.”
  1. Will check out those books. Been a big fan of David Drake’s military sci-fi, will see how this guy’s is.

    1. Williamson has a new Freehold series book coming out soon, “Angeleyes”
      It should be released in November. Here are the first few chapters,

      http://www.baen.com/angeleyes.html

      Hunt around the website, and you can find a free copy of the first book, “Freehold”. For a scary idea of what determined special forces can do to a civilized planet, read “The Weapon”. Be glad almost all terrorists are incompetent fanatics, Mohammed Atta was an exception.

  2. If I had to pick two nations to ally up and go to war against the United States, I’d have to pick…

    Russia, the only other world superpower we’ve ever seen, and…
    The United States, the only nation with the military capacity to go toe-to-toe with the US military.

  3. Russia, China, and India. Size, some degree of tech equivalency, nukes.

    Combined they have more tanks, roughly half the aircraft, near twice as many subs, and 2-3x the number of personnel.

    1. That would be the best bet. As for invading the mainland U.S., I think other countries would understand it’s too big and too well-armed to even attempt. If tried, at the very least, we could all live out childhood war fantasies and we too could become “Wolverines!”

  4. [slow clap]

    Only error I can find is that the average Marine PFC is more likely to have thrown the instant MRE coffee in his lip like chew to soak up the caffeine that way. Otherwise spot on.

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