From the NY Post:

I fled NYC amid COVID — and it was the worst decision of my life

They took off in a hurry — but these New Yorkers are on the express line back to the city.

When the pandemic hit in March, Zachary Thacher packed his suitcases and joined the record-breaking exodus of city folk leaving town.

“I was feeling cooped up and thought I wanted to have a more rural life that was more in tune with nature,” said Thacher, who gave up his one-bedroom apartment in the West Village in April. “I thought I wouldn’t come back.”

Turns out, not all New Yorkers are cut out for country living.

Or camping.

“I was definitely not in farm-shape when I got there,” said Thacher, who volunteered at a friend’s organic farm for four and a half months.

And so after testing out life in Massachusetts, Vermont and Beacon, N.Y., Thacher settled on, well, Brooklyn.

That guy looks like he gets tired ordering a cup of coffee.

On June 1, [Maureen Cross] signed a lease on a much bigger three-bedroom flat in Burlington, Vt., where she moved with her two Siberian huskies.

She was living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment.

“After two weeks I was like, ‘Is this all there is? Where is everybody?’ ”

She was so acclimated to living in a phone booth that a normal size apartment felt cavernous.

“I moved back right in time for the Met reopening,” said Cross. “When I walked into the room with the Jackson Pollock and Mark Rothko paintings, my cells fell back into place.”

That is the most arrogantly New York thing I have ever heard.

Earlier this year, Jenn, who works for a radio station and declined to give her last name, moved out of her apartment on West 87th Street with her husband and two daughters, ages 4 and 8.

“When June came, I lost my mind and agreed to buy a pool that came with a home in Albany,” said the 44-year-old, half-jokingly.

The former Upper West Sider said she “misses everything” about the city, but agreed to stay put considering her husband loves the ‘burbs and her kids are “thriving.”

You mean that children thrive when they are allowed to grow up the way humans are supposed to and not crushed under the weight of a billion tons of oppressive concrete jungle that blots out the son and creates stagnant pools of smog to breathe?

Who but a New Yorker would be surprised by that?

Noelle, a 32-year-old commercial real estate developer, recently decamped to Whitefish, Mont., with her partner and their two young children.

Thankfully, they still have the keys to their Gramercy place.

“I miss talking to the doormen in the morning when I walk my dog,” said Noelle, who declined to give her last name for privacy reasons.

You know what the best part of owning my own home is?  Not getting permission from someone to enter or exit my home.

“I miss going outside and being able to talk to people.”

Bullshit, New Yorkers don’t talk to strangers.  They occasionally scream profanity at them but I’ve never met a New Yorker have a conversation with a stranger on the street.  I have seen that in the Midwest.  I assume what she means is that she’s tired of the friendly locals in Montana talking to her and she wants to go back to where if she’s outside, people avoid making eye contact.

While hiking, swimming and sledding are nice, she said they don’t hold a candle to visiting the Central Park Zoo with the kids or date night at Casa Mono, one of her favorite neighborhood restaurants.

Even her toddler can’t wait to return to his cosmopolitan routine.

Said Noelle: “My son looked at me one day and said, ‘Mommy, I miss sushi.’ ”

There are in fact three Sushi restaurants in Whitefish.  Noelle here has shut herself into her place in Montana and not left it to see what is around.  Why not drive down to Yellowstone or Big Sky National Park.  She could see bison roaming free, not cooped up behind bars.  Except that as a New Yorker, she feels more comfortable in a tiny cage surrounded by artificial nature and than in the wide and open air.

New York City is a human zoo, and like zoo animals raised in captivity, they have no idea how to thrive in the wild if they are released.

It really is time to build a giant wall around Manhattan Island and turn it into a maximum-security penitentiary like out of a John Carpenter movie.

New Yorkers will probably thanks us for it by making them feel more comfortable, like wrapping them up in a security blanket.

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By J. Kb

17 thoughts on “New Yorkers are pussies, can they just admit that finally?”
  1. Just think of the arrogance of wealth, last was so pleased to get back to NYC just in time for the opening of the MET. If that’s the music people she is referring to, how much did those tickets cost?

    If it is the art place, how often did she really visit it before? I remember reading how few people in NYC actually visit all those places they break about.

    I went visiting a friend that lived in an apartment in DC. Took her out to visit some of the museums and monuments. She’d lived in DC for three years at that point and I was the tour guide. So many of these people bragging about the culture of thier city have never visited those cultural icons.

    1. That’s pretty much true almost everywhere I’ve been.

      Except Germany, come to think of it. Many of the people I worked with in Hamburg, were regular visitors to museums and orchestras, etc. Then again, most of them weren’t originally from Hamburg.

    2. Like you said it’s just for bragging rights for many of them. I’d wager most visitors of such places aren’t locals.

    3. “If it is the art place, how often did she really visit it before? I remember reading how few people in NYC actually visit all those places they break about.”
      Therefore, you are so 100% absolutely correct about that.

      I grew up in the metro NY area (lahn guyland), and went to HS with a bunch of people who wanted to live in Manhattan. A few actually did move there after college. The main reason? They could go to the museums, the theatre, music and concerts. The reality? They never went to any of it. I attended more plays, went to more exhibits in museums, etc… than they ever did. All they did was stick within about a 5 block radius of their job or their residence.

      But, they did have a 212 area code, so they were so much more interesting then you could ever be.

  2. I’m sure she’ll love the winter in Whitefish, don’t forget your DKNY forty below designer parka. P.S. Be sure to leave Montana before you vote.

  3. Fuk em. We dont need them out in real America. Poor little white guy goes and “volunteered “ to work on an organic farm. He aint too bright is he?? Thats how these hippy asshats keep costs down. Get a bunch of dumb liberals to work for FREE.

  4. I say go one step further than the wall. Get the 82nd out there and man checkpoints and send the USMS out to repatriate NYCers via ConAir back to the concrete shithole they love so much before they screw up the rest of the country. Let NYC rot like the festering cancer it is.

  5. I took one look at that mess standing on the farm and words failed me.

    Then I read “That guy looks like he gets tired ordering a cup of coffee.” and cracked up. The line that was in my head that I couldn’t get out.

    Please, go home. Don’t make my city like yours. I don’t see very many NY tags down here in Texas, but I see a bunch of California ones. Like locusts, they are.

  6. If Noelle’s lil’ urbanite misses sushi that much, she could always take him out to one of many lakes, rivers and streams to get absolutely the freshest raw fish available. (Whitefish Lake is just north of town, or it was when I was there last in the late ’80s. Town may have sprawled since then…)

    And they’d be real fish too, not the Coney Island whitefish (used condoms) that are the catch of the day in the NYFC area waterways.

    Hell, just go out and see live animals that aren’t rats/flying rats/rat dogs. (Dead ones, too, but just tell the sprogs that roadkill is disadvantaged homeless crackheads just like back home.)

  7. LOL, Burlington VT is the big city compared to most of VT., or most of Northern NH or Inland Maine. It’s literally the biggest town in VT (whereas NH and ME have some larger towns sprinkled here and there, tho nothing a NYer would consider a “city”). And most country folk hate it and refuse to consider it a real part of the state (FFS they voted a Socialist in for mayor 30 years ago). And yet somehow the country folks thrive and find ways to amuse themselves. I’m never bored, and I never forget that I live in such a great place compared to the concrete hellholes that make up so much of the rest of the country. I don’t care if it’s the South, West, Center, Alaska, hell even California, as long as it’s not the city, it’s a nice place to live. Or at least better than the &#&$R city.

Only one rule: Don't be a dick.

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