Gun Free Zone

Sent by reader Zeigfried Whiffle

Me AT GROCERY STORE:
Why is there plastic on the payment keypad?
Cashier: to protect people from Covid.
Me : but isn’t everyone touching the plastic keypad the same way they would the regular keypad?
Cashier: no words. Confused look.
Me : Why Don’t you pack the grocery bags anymore?
Cashier : Because of covid 19 to reduce the spread of catching or spreading the virus.
Me : But a shelf packer took it out of a box and put on the shelf, a few customers might of picked it up and put back deciding they Don’t want it, I put it in my cart then on the conveyer belt, YOU pick it up to scan it.. But putting it in a bag after you scan is risky??
Cashier : no words, confused look

Me AT DRIVE-THRU
Server: (holds a tray out the window with a bag of food for logical friend to grab)
Me: why is my bag of food on a tray?
Server: so I don’t touch your food because of Covid.
Me: didn’t the cook touch my food? Didn’t the person wrapping my food touch it and then touch it again when placing it in my bag? Didn’t you touch the bag and put it on the tray? Didn’t you touch the tray?
Server: no words. Confused look.

Me in SOCIETY
Society ; If you cough or sneeze do it in your elbow or sleeve,
Also society : Dont shake hands or hug anyone or you will spread the virus..
To greet people do an elbow tap instead.
Me : Elbow tap ? Isn’t that where you tell people to sneeze or cough? into their elbow? Now you want people to tap each other with that elbow
wouldn’t it be safer to sneeze into elbow and shake hands like we did before Covid

Me AT RESTAURANT:
Hostess: ok, I can seat you at this table right here (4 feet away), but I will need you to wear a mask to the table.
Me: what happens when I get to the table?
Hostess: you can take off the mask.
Me: then it is safe over there?
Hostess: yes.
Me: are those fans blowing above the table? Is that the air-conditioning I feel? Is the air circulating in here? Hostess: no words. Confused look.

SOCIETY : You are not allowed to stand and drink at the pub you have to sit down.
But at the shopping centre you are not allowed to sit down, all the chairs are roped off.
Who thinks this stuff up?
Life is hard for logical people right now. We are being raised without the ability to process and execute logic

Unemployment, and the miserable job search that followed, was a wake-up call to me.

One of the things that I decided to do was go back to school to get a second master’s degree in a particularly esoteric and unique field of engineering that very much suits my fancy.

I was inspired by a former co-worker who earned that degree and now has a job I am envious of.

Right now I won’t tell you what or where it is, but suffice it to say I am neck deep in shock physics and jump equations.  When I am done with this new degree combined with my previous education, the tagline for my resume will be “Better Killing Through Metallurgy.”

It is finals week and one of my make-or-break classes has a take-home final due Thursday morning and I am still working full time at a day job.

As such, I am going to disappear for a while.  I will be back.  In the meantime, there will be lots and lots of math.

Like a boss.

When you are a recording engineer, you deal with a lot of people who are firmly deluded into thinking they are good.  Those are the ones that give you the most trouble because you have to work 10 times as hard just to make them not sound as bad.

Then again, a very few times in your careered, you are blessed with people who are truly gifted in their craft and your job is to simply mike them up, set levels, press record and just sit back to admire the moment while thanking the higher being you believe in for the glorious chance of putting this much beauty on tape.

And when you stoop as low as politicize the death of a grandmother, you fucking deserve to lose your jobs and wave cardboard signs at intersections.

Found in 90 miles From Tyranny

“Kristi Noem’s grandmother died in a nursing home hit by COVID-19 as the South Dakota governor continued to downplay the virus,” reads the headline published by Business Insider and re-upped by Yahoo! News.

The story acknowledges that “Arnold tested negative for COVID-19 before her death,” but goes on to focus on Noem’s COVID-19 policies, South Dakota’s rising coronavirus numbers, and the virus-related deaths in the nursing home where Noem’s grandmother resided. The article also criticized Noem’s decision to refuse a state-wide mask mandate.

Scum of the Earth. There is no other way to describe them. There are some things you simply don’t do and this is one of them. But they are the same people who have been taught to wave the bloody shirt of a victims to support their political mandates, so stealing a corpse for the same function is not a stretch for them.

So I found a big bag of chips in our pantry and since we are both on a diet, I figured the local wildlife would benefit from it.

I have been throwing a crunched handful about every 2-3 days and other than the annoying muscovite ducks and the visiting coot, no other animal would show up.

Today this happened.

If you look at the duck on top of the photo, you will see something dark right below: that is one of the half dozen snapping turtles living in the lake.

The crow kept cawing for its share and I could not help myself and demanded he say “Nevermore” before he got any.

The next door neighbors looked at me with suspicion.