Now, Palmetto Bugs prefer living outside, but when they’re in your house you pretty much have to kill them or sleep in your car or move. And since I just moved and my car was still filled with crap, I knew he had to die. It was either him or me. Only one was going to come out of this encounter alive.
I really don’t know if the author is now living in Florida, but for your general fund of information, palmetto bugs can be “treated” with #6 birdshot in most cases and four ought buckshot for those recalcitrant members of the species.
And yes, do not miss…
I had one pull a switchblade on me. I think it was in MS13.
Not joking – I have size 14 clod-stompers. I had a palmetto bug enter my abode that was the size of my hand. I hit it as hard as I could with a shoe and it shrugged it off and kept walking.
I ended up damaging the wall because I had to hit it so hard,.
Note to self: next time I go to Florida, bring shotgun with flechette rounds.
perhaps I should send one to my aunt and uncle down there.(shotgun and flechette rounds, not palmetto bug)
Those things sound terrifying!
Flechettes are illegal in Florida…..
Dragon’s Breath it is, then!
Or is that illegal, too?
(incindiery devices are illegal in Colorado. Bullets are specifically universally exempted from this law.)
Florida Statutes 790.31 Armor-piercing or exploding ammunition or dragon’s breath shotgun shells, bolo shells, or flechette shells prohibited.
They better not prohibit packing a shotgun shell with chocolate chips. Herr Biden personally approved of that one.
Flechettes illegal in Florida? Just don’t tell Florida!
You could also “SALT” the officials offices and homes with the bugs and see how fast they legalize all forms of ammo.
Ever try rat traps?
You know? Checking the statutes I do not see a prohibition against Flame Throwers per se…..
Can’t say anything about state-level, but at the federal level, flamethrowers are entirely legal and un-regulated.
Probably because they’re critical in, among other things, cotton farming.
Also the war against africanized bees.
Saw a interweb documentary of fire fighters protecting school children from a swarm with vietnam era flame throwers in some south american country.
Also, I am a huge fan of turning unholy goliath abomination roaches loose on corrupt elected officials. The bugs would probably do a better job at ruling.
More honest, anyway.
Florida has funny code words. Isn’t a “Palmetto bug” just how you folks refer to cockroaches to sound less like NYC?
Roach is to palmetto bug to what Smart Car is to Humvee…..with trunk monkey.
I am in South Carolina. Near the coast. Perhaps your Florida Plametto Bugs are hitchhiking up here. Make them stop IMMEDIATELY. Thank you.
The author graces us with her comments! It was a great post Laura, made me laugh and reminded me of my own encounters with those evil creatures.
And I am sorry to say those things cannot be stopped, only convinced to move north…..like Puerto Ricans.
(Hey, I am Hispanic, I can make awful jokes about them)