Two pieces of tropical scum were cruising around a South Florida neighborhood when they saw an easy target: an 80 year old grandmother engaged in some hobby gardening. Scum One and Scum Two jumped the four foot fence, put a gun to the grandmother’s head and snatched a chain of her neck.

Before they could do more damage, the lady’s 24 year old grandson came out of the house and engaged the robbers with his own sidearm. The Scums left the house in a hurry, escaping in bicycles…seriously, what’s with the Lance Armstrong Escape?

Cops got one of the Pedaling Attackers and are looking for the second.

Darn it! Now we did it. Alan C. Baird bought hisself a gun!

On several updates of his now infamous post, Mr. Baird is claiming that he has decided to use his (not you, you don’t have one) Second Amendment Rights and bought firearms for his protection. And you know something? I am almost sure he did. Hypocrisy is a well established trait with his kind.

Of course, he goes on to rant against where can you carry and stating that Arizona is asking for trouble (why Arizona has not had any trouble remains un-asked) and he ends up comparing himself with Salman Rushdie and compares us with Muslim Terrorists… there he goes again with his racist remarks. (Cue violins and images of puppies)

And just in case he feels the need to delete his post and claim we are violating his First Amendment rights, here is a capture of the blog.

But somehow I don’t think he is “afraid.” I think he just wanted to buy a gun and used the post as an excuse so he did not lose points on his Progressive Card. Let’s face it, if he was really afraid that we gun nuts were after his ass, he wouldn’t be publishing his location and photo, right?

Funny thing the crosshairs on his pic. Yep, he wanted a gun and needed an excuse.

UPDATE: Nope, he ain’t very afraid. He is in Facebook with all his data, his family’s and fresh pictures. His rant about us have not generated much sympathy amongst his 452 friends.

Pitiful.

Just a couple of days ago, I posted about an “article” by Alan Baird and his encounter with an open carry senior citizen. I Just found out via The Smallest Minority that Mr. Baird allegedly got “scared” and removed his post. He wails about his First Amendment rights being attacked by us Barbarians and now more than ever that nobody should own guns.

Mr. Baird seems to believe that the Right to Free Speech comes with the extended bonus that you are not allowed to be criticized. I did a quick check in my personal copy of the Constitution and unless I have a defective one, I see nothing of the kind.  Mr. Baird did remove the original post and changed it to some long rant about he being a taught by a hunter or some other bullcrap that now, unfortunately for him nobody believes but his equally minded fellows.

Fortunately somebody made a copy of the original post We The Armed so I am gonna reproduce it here for your reading pleasure:

Gunfight At The Shopping-Cart Corral. (by Alan C. Baird)

shopping cart corralSo, the wife and I were shopping at our local natural-foods grocery store this morning. No, we’re not tree-huggers. They just have a nice fruit section. Peaches and sh*t.

We were browsing through the peach aisle when my wife urgently pulled me aside: “Did you see that guy?”

“What guy?” I craned my neck to peek around behind her.

“Don’t look. He might shoot.”

“Whaaaat?!” That really captured my attention. Sure enough, some corpulent 80-year-old a**hole was standing in front of the donut peaches, packing a pistol. Rosewood-checkered grip, tooled-leather holster, the whole bit. Not a law enforcement guy, just some retired jerkoff who evidently wanted to enhance the perceived size of his schlong.

Allow me to digress for a moment: the last time I wore a gun and a tooled-leather holster, I was six years old. I had imaginary shootouts with Tommy, who lived next door. Our guns were just cap pistols. Nobody got hurt, unless you tried to drop a big rock on several rolls of caps. (Don’t try this at home. I speak from experience.) We loved wearing the full cowboy drag. And we enjoyed using our guns and holsters.

Until we outgrew them.

At age six.

I mean, everybody outgrows them, right?

Well, apparently not.

Okay, back to Mr. Second-f___ing-Amendment: when I saw that gun in the grocery store, steam started shooting from my ears. I marched up to the front office and loudly demanded to see the manager. When he arrived, I was apoplectic: “If you’re gonna allow this kind of behavior in your store, I’m not gonna shop here anymore.”

The manager was apologetic: “I can’t stop him. Arizona is a Right-To-Carry state.”

no firearms allowed “You can’t post a ‘No Firearms Allowed’ sign on the door?”

“Sadly, no.”

I riposted: “Bars can do it.”

“I know. But that’s because they sell alcohol.”

“Then it’s high time to get a liquor license.”

He nodded. “I hear you.”

“So, guns are off-limits in bars, schools, government buildings, airports and airliners. You think it’s a good idea to allow them in your grocery store?”

“No, but…”

“And it’s not like this white-bread neighborhood is dangerous. The worst criminals you have are jaywalkers.”

“Exactly. I recently moved here from California, and I can’t believe what these people get away with.”

I pulled out the big guns: “Displaying a gun is an implied threat of violence. His threat has spread fear in your customers. Instilling fear is a hallmark of terrorism. Under some definitions, he has already committed a terrorist act.”

He sympathized. “Guns are just murders waiting to happen.” But then he shrugged.

The shrug derailed me. What’s that Edmund Burke quote? “All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing.”

I shuffled back to the peach aisle, tail between my legs. The gun-totin’ a**hole had moved over to the nectarine aisle. My wife said: “Well?”

“It’s legal. Nothing to be done.”

“You’re kidding.” Let me explain: she’s European. And like most civilized people, she often has trouble understanding some of Arizona’s mediæval laws.

I shook my head. “Nope. And I can’t say anything to him. If he’s psycho enough to wear a gun in a grocery store, he’s psycho enough to use it. All of us would end up on the evening news, looking like Swiss cheese.”

She was silent for a long time. “You’re afraid of him?”

“Duh.”

“Then I will buy you a gun at Christmas. And you will buy one for me.”

“Huh?” I couldn’t believe my ears. Every now and then, she has trouble with the English language. I was beginning to wonder if this was one of those times.

“We will return here on December 26th, and we will stand in front of that old fasz with our brand-new guns, and we will call him out.” ‘Fasz’ is the Hungarian word for ‘pr*ck.’ When she starts peppering her conversation with Magyar expletives, it’s a pretty good indication she’s having no trouble at all with her English. “And if he tries to walk away, we will laugh at the size of his tiny shriveled-up fasz.”

“He’ll draw. You know he’ll draw.”

“He’s old. We’re faster.”

Yes Mr. Baird, you are famous. Enjoy!

Update: UPDATE: Mr. Blair, citing undue attention from our side, deleted his original post. Unfortunately for him screenshots of his original post  can be found in Walls of The City. And to avoid himself any further need to defend what he allegedly believes in but maybe not, Mr. Baird has closed comments on his blog citing First Amendment concerns…Huh?

Reluctant H/T to Say Uncle. I need to fetch me some antacids now.

I am not gonna lie: I was afraid about the new Monster Hunter book. I enjoyed Monster Hunter International so much that I was hesitant about its successor. Was Larry Correia able to get a book as equal in action and fun as the first? He did not. Monster Hunter Vendetta is a great book on its own eight tentacles that you will stop comparing books about 50 pages in and just enjoy this new eccentric ride.

Gun Geek Alert: MHI’s narrative is a brand new cool weapon. It has the awe and lust of the new out of the box handgun and you spend time learning it, taking it apart, lubricating, and taking it to the range to show it off to your buddies for the Drool Factor.  MHV’s narrative is the same gun after the 500 to 800 rounds break in period: all rough spots gone, it cycles beautifully, sends the bullet where you want it and melds with your hand with the familiarity of your loved one.

Two things that caught me by surprise with this book: Humor and I mean laughing out loud- neighbors demanding silence- all out laughter and Larry’s totally outlandish imagination for new monsters and monster behaviors. In a couple of notable passages, both intertwine so well that one must wonder what kind of gun solvent fumes inspired these visions.

Both Monster Hunter International and Monster Hunter Vendetta cannot be pigeon-holed into any specific literary movement. Fantasy? Not quite. Yes, both have a serious dose of that, but that’s too easy. Fiction? Yes but it is also very well grounded on those physical things we know and depend upon. Sci-Fi? You got your interplanetary, trans-dimensional beings but we are spared of UFOs…so far. Magic Realism then? Nope, Larry ain’t a starchy or pretentious author plus I was forced to read some of that crap and bore myself to tears in my younger years while the books keep me awake and racing.

If the books have a “location”, it would be next to that shadow we caught in the corner of our eye on a weird day. That shadow that we cannot see if we try to look at it and it gives us a chill down our spine if we turn our backs to it. Larry does not make us suspend disbelief with his books, he just lets us have flexible minds. And in the monster hunting business, that is 50% of the game.

…make sure Obama is not re-elected.

You know you suck as President when even dead people gang against you.

H/T to Walls of the City.

Mr. Alan C. Baird by his own blog, lives a stone’s throw from Phoenix. Wherever his commune is located, it seems they don’t get TV, radio, Internet or even smoke signals ’cause he was surprised to see somebody in Arizona that was carrying a gun openly. <ZOMG!> (see bottom of this page)

We all have seen guys like Mr. Baird before. They have issues with Civil Liberties unless they grant them to others and the thought of somebody not depending on the government scares the crap out of him. Them peoples are out of control! “Control” being the interesting key word as in Gun Control.

But let me go through selected quotes from his post. First of all, he sees some elderly gentleman legally carrying a sidearm and suddenly is not an armed senior, somebody who by virtue of a gun, has a chance to fend off an attacker who might pray on his frailty. No sirree, this elderly person is now a:

“corpulent 80-year-old a**hole was standing in front of the donut peaches, packing a pistol.”

Now Mr. Baird never talks to the gentleman or politely asks him about why is he carrying a gun. Maybe he is afraid that the old man may make sense or he is really hoplophobic or even he really thinks that guns are not the solution. But he never gave the old gentleman a chance because the gun made him automatically an asshole in his mind. Quite an open minded fella Mr. Baird!

Then we get into the Hoplophobe Narrative. Those series of misconceptions so ingrained they become automatic truths. We start with two old time favorites: Only Cops Should Save Guns and Gun is Substitute for Penis.

Not a law enforcement guy, just some retired jerkoff who evidently wanted to enhance the perceived size of his schlong.

One thing that always caught my attention is how anger-prone Antis can be. Why? I mean they are allegedly for love, peace and the pursuit of free cannabis but somehow let them see toolings by Mr. Colt and they become meth freaks after a hit.

back to Mr. Second-F*cking-Amendment: when I saw that gun in the grocery store, steam started shooting from my ears...I marched up to the front office and loudly demanded to see the manager. When he arrived, I was apoplectic: “If you’re gonna allow this kind of behavior in your store, I’m not gonna shop here anymore.”

In the midst of his anger, he manages to don his mental KKK Ceremonial robe, gets all Grand Dragon and reminds us that bad things only happen in colored neighborhoods where the spics and the niggers live.

“And it’s not like this white-bread neighborhood is dangerous. The worst criminals you have are jaywalkers.”

Of course, the shop owner agrees with him. He appears to be equally sick that the retards that populate Arizona actually have the right to carry the tools for self defense. The reason why the manager is like this gets to be rather obvious:

“Exactly. I recently moved here from California, and I can’t believe what these people get away with.”

And it gets worst after that. Mr. Baird goes through the terrorism shtick, then dabbles into psychosis (allegedly ours, not his demonstrated one) the “superiority” of Europe’s culture and costumes and lastly getting a gun to taunt the old man and shoot him if possible.

Yep, Mr. Baird wants to kill somebody. He aches for it. He needs to recover his wounded manhood (he and his wife keep bringing the penis thing so I wanted to return the favor) by perpetrating first degree murder.

Mr. Baird, it is because there are totally deranged people like you out there that we carry. And it is a good thing, by the looks of your writing, you may snap the next time you go to your organic food store and somebody beats you to the ripest organic melon that you think you were entitled to have.

PS: Please, if you ever feel like going really paranoid, you are cordially invited to come visit us in Florida. We don’t have open carry so over 600,000 of us carry concealed weapons. Not knowing who is packing heat next to you in a crowd, restaurant or hotel lobby should do wonders to your anti-psychotic meds consumption.

UPDATE: Mr. Blair, citing undue attention from our side, deleted his original post. Unfortunately for him copies and screenshots can be found. And to avoid himself any further need to defend what he allegedly believes in but maybe not, he has closed comments on his blog citing First Amendment concerns…Huh?