Getting ready for my first trip to Spain, my dearest mother warned me of the Guardia Civil: “You just don’t mess with them, ever! If you see one of the coming, avoid him or be submissive. Control your tongue.”  That left an impression on me, how bad are these guys compared to the bastards we already had in Venezuela? When we got to Barajas Airport, I met the first batch of them at Customs and they were polite and looked funny in their green uniforms topped by a black tricorne hat. Days later outside the airport, I saw other members of the Guardia Civil and they seemed less cordial than the ones I had seen with the added bonus of all of them were carrying carbine-sized Mauser rifles.

But it wasn’t till years later on another trip that I got to learn more about them: Yup, they were bastards. People were literally scared of them, they would lower their voices and look away when they went by, patrolling on foot. And if you looked at them, they would give you the “What the fuck are you looking at asshole? Do you have the need for a buttstroke?” Stories of they excesses were told and scars were shown so I became a believer in “No jodas con la Guardia.” (Don’t fuck with the Guardia). How hated was the Guardia Civil?  For many years they were the favorite target of the basque separatist group ETA who went after them and their families, paying back for what the Guardia did to the local basques.

After Franco, the Guardia Civil underwent a modernization process, trying to eliminate the “goonish” part while retaining their no-nonsense Law Enforcement attributes.  But it seems nowadays the Guardia has gone to the puppies.

According to the Guardia Civil union website, there was an incident at a training range in Alicante where a group of five Guardias arrived thirty minutes late for firearms training. The range Master officer and instructor, proceeded to chew the late arrivals a new “culo” for their lateness. That must have been some amazing yelling, worth of capturing for eternity because two of the addressees immediately suffered anxiety attacks that required on the spot attention by the Red Cross personnel on stand by. 

But wait, there is more. The chief of psychological services was present at the range and she felt the need to have their sidearms removed for safety and sent all the late-comers to the hospital for further evaluation. The union warns that the behavior of the instructor cannot be tolerated and that legal actions against him and the Guardia will be forthcoming.

Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot?

If your Law Enforcement Officers officers need a Safe Space and Trigger Warnings, you might as well pack it and go home. But I guess it is the new policing in Europe where you need to be kind to killers and rapists.

Europe is so boned…..