It is not enough that we have to deal with the native gators in bodies of fresh water, but now we have to deal with salt water crocodiles.

Allow me to repeat what a Floridian friend says: The moment you enter into any body of water in Florida, you are no longer a top of the food chain.

PS: Yes, it includes bathrooms and pools.

I found a Tapcon concrete anchor neatly embedded in one of the truck’s tires.

My back is killing me.

And it is drizzling.

I seriously need to start playing lotto.

The only reason to have your Christmas decorations up  before thanksgiving is because you live in a trailer park and they have been there since last year.

As I saw in a comment somewhere: Badass Pastors

And yes, there will be always a bunch of Twisted Panties Snowflakes complaining.
They can go to Churches that are Gun Free Zones.

I am embarrassed to say that after all my experiences with people refusing to learn First Aid basics like CPR and Heimlich, it was not until today that I come to find out Florida does not have mandatory teaching of these two basic life-saving procedures in school.

What the flock is wrong with Florida Schools and Legislators? (Rhetorical question)

I got my first CPR training back in the 70s when it was like 18 steps to take and we had to memorize them. Nowadays it is simplified to about 4 and it takes about thirty minutes of training for a whole bunch of people to be certified in both CPR and Heimlich plus walking away with a cute CPR shield in a key ring pouch.

When we moved to Miami, the Hialeah Fire Department offered a fantastic class that covered CPR according to age and the same for Heimlich. Also how to talk to 911 to give the proper information and not freak during the event. My last training was about 3 years ago and we are down to doing compressions at the beat of “Staying Alive.”  Hey, if it works, don’t knock it. The point is, if you don’t have the training, if your family does not have the training, specially the young ones, it needs to be taken.

And please do not stop there. See what other basic First Aid stuff you can learn. Blood Loss Prevention and whatever else you can stuff your brain with. It is amazing what life-saving techniques do to your feelings of Self Reliance.

Charlie Manson is finally joining Hell.

Helter Skelter, you bitch.

Update: As of 7:24 PM EST, apparently the fuck is still alive.

The landscaper dropped by today to take care of my “lawn.”

I call it “lawn” because it is about 50% weed and 50% St Augustine Grass which is just one chromosome above being a weed itself, it is basically miniature Elephant Grass. We cannot have all the fancy soft stuff that you find up north like bluegrass as it would not make it through the end of March without spontaneously combusting. The weed part? I got tired of paying up the ass for bags Feed and Weed crap. Oh yes, they work, but the grass would grow 3 inches overnight and  it would require the services of the landscaper three times a week.

And let’s face it, we have a lawn to conform with the neighbors. I do believe that more than one male suburbanite would cover at least the backyard in concrete and get several cars jacked up or a couple of basketball courts with dogs roaming around pooping everywhere and you don’t caring because you’d have high pressure water systems ready to clean up. Most of the time, the missus wants colorful perennials and annuals with fragrance that makes everything look pretty and compete with Mary Sue next door and Jenn across the street.

The joys of home ownership…yay!