I got a haircut and beard trim today. It is one of those high end places that cater only to men. I like it because I can get a straight razor shave there.
The woman asked me if I wanted “beard oil” when my trim was over.
I told her there were only four acceptable oils to have in your beard
1. Motor oil.
2. Gun oil.
3. Machine oil.
4. Fry oil.
Also, the only acceptable way to get those oils into your beard is by getting dripped and/or sprayed with the requisite lubricant while working.
Any man worthy of his beard will not have scented oil rubbed into it.
I find no fault with your list of oils. At all.
My co worker uses beard oil. I asked why, and he said that it’s in the Bible. Somewhere. .
The book of Caleb the hipster?
Caleb the hipster, chapter 1, verse 23: And lo! The haircuttery deemed that oil was needed, and it was done.
Sorry, it is missing one very important item: Bacon Fat.
I think of that as a type of cooking oil.
All i have is some stubble. The curse of being Asian.
Or a blessing, perhaps?
Also add chainsaw bar oil to that list.