Dear African-Americans: Stop screwing the media pooch, you are hurting the Narrative! Take a look at these two events that happened just this past weekend:

These two shootings were almost perfect! Good looking female rookie cop gunned down on her first day alongside two more cops and a woman. The other one a pastor gunned inside his own church! We are talking hundreds of hours of free TV advertising, gigabytes of social media and miles of printed words on papers gone to waste because the shooter was black! How dare you? Don’t you know by now mass killers are supposed to be white, redneck NRA and KKK members? You are fucking with the Narrative, damn it!

We are good at what we do. You cannot have a better example than George Zimmerman, the guy was half Hispanic and we managed not only to make people think he was 100% Blue-eyed white but dropped the subtle anti-semitic hint here and there. He probably knows more about maracas than menorahs, but that did not stop us, right? He is forever branded as racist worse than if he was one of the original raiders that burned down Rosewood.   But what we cannot do is change your skin color for the mugshots, OK? We don’t have access to the booking cameras and we cannot photoshop convincingly after the images are published.

It is partially our fault. When the Navy Yard shooter did his deed, we tried to bury it once we found out his race. Notice it dropped from the News media rotation rather fast. Then came the Vester Lee Williams and shooting two white folks on live TV (One of them a good-looking blonde that make for great visual victims according to Alfred Hitchcock)  that was too good to pass up, but eventually had to because again the wrong color.

And do not forget the herculean effort to keep any reference to race in the regular, every day killings in places like Chicago. When was the last time you heard in the news a good description of the shooter. one that included race? Years and years, right? From all you get in the Six O’Clock news , them kids playing in front of their houses were shot by Borgs or Romulans so vague is the description. That was done for a reason! Only the victim’s skin color is mentioned and it better be black! The narrative indicates that them White Supremacists from the NRA want to kill blacks! It is a genocide by insurrectionist terrorists that want to bring back slavery and the Rebel Flag!

So, here are the instructions: Don’t make newsworthy shootings. You can still kill each other but don’t do it at churches or malls or schools with more than two dead at one time.  Follow the example of Chicago where they are killing each other like it was the bubonic plague, but the shooters are colorless. Do not use assault weapons. Pistols with high-capacity clips are OK as long as you leave them on the scene so we can demand a ban on those things. Be good victims, bleed a lot, take one for the team and above all:

DON’T FUCK WITH THE NARRATIVE.

Love.

Michael/Shannon/Ladd/Josh/Elliot/Dan.

PS: Stay away from bad influences like Reverend Ken Blanchard and Rick Ector.

PS2: We do have a bunch of merchandise to sell, from $60 hoodies to $18 string bracelets with a washer. Drop by and order now before they gather moss.