What I would love to hear coming from the NRA AM today:

WAYNE LAPIERRE REMARKS IGNITE CONTROVERSY OVER STAR WARS.

. DALLAS. MAY 4.

NRA’s Executive Vice President of the National Rifle Association Wayne LaPierre outraged many by a statement he made during the opening ceremonies of the NRA’s annual meeting.

“It is the official position of the National Rifle Association and its millions of members that Han shot first.” said LaPierre. It was followed by a standing ovation that lasted well over 5 minutes.

News of LaPierre’s statement made an immediate impact in both Hollywood and Washington. Actress and Gun Safety activist Alyssa Milano decried what she called “a unskillful attempt to rewrite history by a Death Merchant.” House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said that “Wayne Gterzky is trying to get our kids in school killed.”  while Senator Cory Boker not only condemned LaPierre’s words but also demanded that the NRA paid reparations for the years of having slaves build Assault Weapons.

George Lucas could not be reached for comments. His manager simply said “George is tired of that shit. It is his movie and might as well leave it alone.”

Meantime at the Annual Meeting, NRA Member Cedric Jose White, wearing a t-shirt with “Let the Wookie pack.” stamped on it, had this to say: “The NRA is simply standing firm on what millions of Gun Owners and Star War Fans always knew. You can try and lie all you want, but the truth is out there!”