I have been using my Swiss Army Trekker to slice apples for snacking at work, but the juices made a mess, and it was a bitch to open due to the crap accumulated. Time to get a cheap knife just for that task.

After a bit of online fooling, I decided that the cheap offerings at Walmart were the solution, so I headed to my local store about an hour ago and found myself staring at a locked case with nobody nearby to open it. I then remembered that the sporting goods section does not get an associate till sometime after 8 am, some 40 minutes away.


Anti theft protection for the expensive stuff that can be easily shoplifted? absolutely understandable. But the Ozark Trail Chinese crap? It must be a question of safety; Corporate not wanting any crazy fella to grab a knife and start stabbing and dicing shoppers, right?

And then I took a quick stroll over the outdoor gear and guess what I found?


But wait! That is not all!

Everything necessary to supply a Rwandan block party was there for the grabbing: folding and fixed blade knives, axes and even machetes!

So now I own a shitty knife to make short work of unsuspecting apples without having to beg for the presence of a Blue Vest. The register scanner did require ID check, but the attendant figured out by the way I look, I am a tad older than the minimum required age to buy the knife and did not ask for ID.

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By Miguel.GFZ

Semi-retired like Vito Corleone before the heart attack. Consiglieri to J.Kb and AWA. I lived in a Gun Control Paradise: It sucked and got people killed. I do believe that Freedom scares the political elites.

18 thoughts on “Security Theater at Walmart.”
  1. It’s hilarious. They keep what little ammo they have under glass, yet I can go down the street to Rural King and they have several tons of ammo(all calibers and gauges) out on the shelf.

  2. In addition to the knives of higher quality, the Walmart close to me also has the automotive light bulbs in a lockup case like that.
    At least they did. I haven’t been back in there since I got hassled for my receipt upon leaving there one day by a rather aggressive receipt checker who didn’t take kindly to my suggestions on ways to reduce shrinkage if they’re so damn concerned about it. F*ck ‘em, the Walton family can do without my contributions to their year over year growth.

  3. Wow! Your WallyWorld is very well stocked! The ones around here may not have a cheap slip joint pocket knife.

  4. I remember the good old days when we locked up the shoplifters, not the merchandise.
    And, theater, it is. Absolutely. Local supermarket is now putting hair care products behind glass. (Yeah, not kidding.) But, they also have a display, in the same aisle, with the same products. WTF? They could not even pretend and have it in an adjacent aisle? Nope, just about a dozen feet away.
    We are living in interesting times.

  5. Walking through the local Wally World pharmacy area the other day, I noticed they had a locked door section keeping stuff like condoms and other BC all safe and secure…

    Sheeit. That’s something I would like them to actually USE!!

  6. Back in the dark ages, when I was young, I used to hate getting carded at clubs, at liquor stores, wherever… Now they take one look at the grey hair and let the purchase go thru. Unless… a couple of stores have started requiring IDs – I think because their young workers have started letting their even-younger friends slide on that pesky “you must be 21 to buy alcohol” rule.

    1. Our local grocery store has started requiring the driver’s license be scanned as part of the transaction.

    2. There is a red line across some IDs if they are prohibited from purchasing booze in my area. And, the clerks must check every ID in the party, even if they are not buying the alcohol.
      What I want to know is how many DUIs, or public drunkenness convictions do you have to get in order to be prohibited from purchasing anything with alcohol in it? Even Nyquil, or cooking sherry.

      1. What I want to know is how many DUIs, or public drunkenness convictions do you have to get in order to be prohibited from purchasing anything with alcohol in it? Even Nyquil, or cooking sherry.
        The cynical side of me says: It depends on your name and the melanin content in your skin. It’s “cultural”, don’cha know?
        Then the realistic side of me steps in and says: Ackshually… ummm… no, that’s probably how it goes.

  7. Last time I bought ammo at Wally World (it’s been a while now), all their supply was behind glass …
    … except 12ga target loads, which were just stacked four-high and six-deep on the shelf. The Federal boxes weren’t even sealed shut, so if someone were quick and quiet about it they could pocket one or two rounds out of each of several boxes and re-close and re-shelve them, and nobody’d be any the wiser until the buyer got the “lighter” ones home (and maybe not even then).
    It’s ridiculous that they’d keep some blister-packed knives behind glass “for safety”, but others just out for grabbing, with no rhyme or reason as to how “dangerous” any of them are. A $3 folder stabs just as well as a $70 one, and a $12 machete does even worse, but which gets locked up?
    It’s not about “safety”; it’s about “value”. But it’s not even fully about “value”, since some of the locked-up knives are in the $3 range, too.
    We call it “security theater”, but it defies all “suspension of disbelief” principles. At least theater makes sense or is intended to be comical or surreal. This is neither.
    Addendum: For all the verbiage about “safety” and “value”, it’s most likely really about liability; the insurance companies say which things need to be locked up to keep their premiums low, so they do that. But the insurers have a poor grasp on reality, too, so their requirements are incomplete at best, nonsensical at worst.

    1. Not in America, some break away (read: blue colored) territories do impose one though (strangely enough, NOT Oregon, or at least they didn’t last time I checked).

      1. I believe you are correct: Oregon does not have any statute or regulation that prohibits minors from purchasing any kind of knife. (And I say that after searching through ORSs thinking, “That can’t possibly be right.”)
        That said, good luck finding a store that sells knives that will sell one to anybody under 18. It might be “store policy”, not law, but it’s pretty much universal.
        Oregon does have some … “interesting” … statutes and case law about what kinds of knives are legal to own and carry and what’s not. For example, anything with a blade over four inches, and folders we would describe as “assisted opening” are statutorily prohibited — so a TON of Kershaw’s and CRKT’s catalogs are illegal, even though both are made in Tualatin — but it’s one of the most widely- and openly-ignored laws I’ve ever seen. Pretty much EVERYONE who sells decent knives (i.e. better than decorative pot-metal junk) has Leeks, Cryos, and Curfews in stock.

        1. Seriously?! Is that a recent change, cause I’ve seen assisted openers and outright switchblades openly displayed in big box sporting goods stores.

      1. It wouldn’t surprise me, I know for a fact the official policy claims that denying rifle and shotgun ammo sales to under 21 year olds is federal law.

  8. It most likely is just asset protection, the reason they had cheapo junk in the same case was probably just to fill space.

    PS The main reason ammo (when it was still in stock anyway) started getting locked up was because an organized theft ring hit multiple stores on the same day and looted the ammo section bare (this was a few years ago so I don’t remember the details, I’m pretty sure they were based out Portland though).

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