I saw the same article in The Portland Mercury that many bloggers did – This Week in Appropriation: Kooks Burritos and Willamette Week.

To recap.  Two white women vacation in Mexico.  They fall in love with the local tacos.  They watch the locals make them to figure out why they are so good.  They go back to Portland and do their best to duplicate the Mexican tacos in a taco truck.  Business is booming.  They get accused of cultural appropriation for being white women selling tacos.  They go under because SJWs are assholes.

I should blog about how awful this is and everything.

Instead, I’m having one of my terrible ideas.

I’ve always wanted to to go Portland for the Kershaw end of the year warehouse sale.

If I go, I’m going to go to every hipster coffee shop and throw a shit fit over every cinnamon raisin, cranberry, Asiago cheese, and jalapeno bagel I see.

See, my grandfather started and ran a Kosher Jewish Delicatessen.  Real bagels are boiled before baking, that’s what gives them that authentic texture.  Crap bagels are steamed during the baking process.

Authentic Jewish bagels are plain, egg, onion, garlic, salt, poppy seed, sesame seed, pumpernickel, or everything (salt, onion, garlic, poppy, and sesame).

Cinnamon raisin bagels are for goyishe women in yoga pants who buy their bagels from Panera Bread.

I wonder how much I can extort out of these hipster douche bags making a scene about how they are culturally appropriating Ashkenazi Jewish culture for breakfast.

I have to figure out how to draw some parallel between them baking and not boiling their bagels and sending Jews to the ovens because they are a bunch of Deli appropriating antisemites.

If I can get a hipster coffee shop shut down, it will be an ultimate victory.