Whether it is Facebook, Twitter, forums or direct real life interaction, Gun Control folks inevitably will bring the “Well Regulated” part of the Second Amendment under the concept that it means Government laws and directives, the more strict, the better. And we all have wasted our times trying to explain the meaning of Regulated as applied when the Constitution was written, but it usually is too long and people tune out. Well, there is another way to explain it, somewhat crass but it makes the point. You are going to ask them back if regulation means government intervention, does that mean the same government gets to dictate laws about the way you shit? (I did say it was crass) If they look at you like you are insane, just point at the many products offered to regulate bowel movement. Diets and health advice for the same.

  • We need background checks, fingerprints and a photo before you can shit outside your house.
  • There is a capacity limit on the amount of turds you can eject on a daily basis.
  • You can only shit once a week.
  • Unreported missing or lost turds can yield you jail time.
  • You cannot shit if you have a restraining order against you.
  • Schools are now denominated Shit Free Zones.
  • All turds must be macrostamped with the unique personal code of their creator.
  • No internet sales of toilet paper.
  • You need to be 21 years of age to buy toilet paper in a store.
  • You can shit long turds but not short turds if you are under 21 years of age.
  • Toilets have to be without water and disassembled when not in use.
  • Fiber and any potion or concoction that speeds up bowel movement needs get a federal stamp of $200 per container, fill a form, get photos and fingerprints to send to the Bureau of Asses, Turds and Flatulence to register. Wait 6 to 9 months for the paperwork to go through and get the fiber.
  • The silencing of farts is strictly prohibited.

OK, you guys get the idea… use, add, modify to your taste.

And as a reminder, the Fed did “regulate” shitting in a way: Reduced capacity toilet tanks.  Need I say more?

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By Miguel.GFZ

Semi-retired like Vito Corleone before the heart attack. Consiglieri to J.Kb and AWA. I lived in a Gun Control Paradise: It sucked and got people killed. I do believe that Freedom scares the political elites.

7 thoughts on “The Meaning of Well Regulated. (Language Warning)”
  1. “And as a reminder, the Fed did “regulate” shitting in a way: Reduced capacity toilet tanks.”


    “All turds must be macrostamped with the unique personal code of their creator.”

    Well, they can pull DNA off turds, so that’s already happening.

    This SUCKS!!! We need to fight back before more of our shitting rights are taken away!!

  2. You must also be fingerprinted, have a background check, and pay fees to have a CCL — Concealed Crapping License. Not often available in May Tissue jurisdictions.

    1. Does having a CCL mean you’re allowed to close the port-o-potty door when you shit in a public setting, while everyone else is required to “Open Shit”?

  3. My iPad screen is now covered in Pepsi spew.
    I hope you’re happy!
    …it was worth the cleanup 😉

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