What the fuck is that?

It’s like a DeLorean and a Hot Wheels had a drunken one night stand.

How do you hook a gooseneck or a trailer to it?

Do people in Silicon Valley and San Francisco know what a pickup truck does?

And it won’t dent and is bullet proof.  So what?  Ultra-hard Stainless Steel means it won’t  absorb energy on impact and might even shatter.  I have serious misgivings about its crash worthiness.

The whole science of crumple zones is engineered points of preferred failure so the car dies instead of the occupants.  This tank might survive but the occupants are going to be turned into paste.

I don’t know what the purpose of this thing is, but its not going to make me give of my Ram, that’s for damn sure.

He needs to go back to launching his roadsters into space looking for the Loc-Nar and stay the fuck away from pickup trucks.

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By J. Kb

15 thoughts on “This is why you don’t let a silicon valley douchebag design a pickup truck”
    1. 30-ish grand, base price. Specs are pretty good actually. The key question is when it will come out. Tesla does a decent job on engineering, not so good on schedule.
      My take on the looks is that it’s a cross between a Countach and an El Camino.

  1. “Do people in Silicon Valley and San Francisco know what a pickup truck does?”

    Having lived in the Bay Area…

    It puts you a bit above the average car roof height so you can see how far ahead the traffic jam extends. That’s about it for 99% of the people there who own one, but don’t have a small business that they need to carry stuff in. And those folks are starting to switch to transit vans because of theft concerns.

    This thing kinda reminds me of a Honda Ridgeline, with the wings that make it impossible to reach into the. Bed from the sides.

  2. If he adds a V-shaped hull for added mine resistance we can talk 😀

    It looks kinda cool. In an impractical way. But isn’t that all that Tesla is? Cool features but no simple pragmatism? 😀

    1. No, that’s not all Tesla is. I’ve been very happy with my S for 5 years now. It’s a really good car. I particularly enjoy the way it responds instantly when you step on the accelerator — every time I get into my pickup or my wife’s Beamer I get reminded that every other car has a very noticeable lag between throttle and response. I enjoy the way you hardly ever have to touch the brakes while driving. And the handling is very good (low center of gravity).
      That said, I’m probably not a candidate for this truck. Mostly because my 2008 Chevy 1500 is still in great shape and doesn’t get a whole lot of miles.

      1. Yeah, but that’s a common feature of electric motors or even steam engines. 😀
        That’s neither exclusive to Tesla nor Elon Musks genius at work.

        Most people don’t dislike electric cars in general – they have a problem with the way these things get shoved down our throat with no regard for their shortcomings or the logistical problems in case of a widespread adoption.

        1. If I really wanted to make money with electric cars, I’d work on a system that allows for fast battery swaps. Like pull into a service area and have a guy come out and swap the battery pack for a full one in less than 10 minutes. Then I’d market these for police, taxis, municipal and local delivery vehicles. Places where there is no concern about range because the car will always be within 10 or 15 miles of the service depot and can stop by for a battery swap. Such vehicles could be in service 24 hours a day, rotating batteries when they rotate crews/drivers.

          Such orgs could afford more batteries and the advantages of electric vehicles would outweigh the negatives. Other than battery swaps, there would be very little maintenance, just change tires and brakes every few tens of thousands of miles. No fuel cost, just battery charging.

          If this worked, you could expand it to a national retail level. The consumer would lease the car and on long trips, swap out batteries at service stations the way people do with 40 lbs propane tanks like Blue Rino.

          1. I don’t think this would work out J.

            The battery is the most expensive item in the car and most people wouldn’t want to swap out their brand new battery for a used and a possibly near end of life one.

            1. I think that could be handled, but yes, that probably has been an issue. Tesla built and deployed automated battery swap stations, on a trial basis. They apparently work quite well, fresh full charge in 5 minutes — which is faster than a full tank of gas with today’s skinny nozzles.
              TW, I agree with you on forcing. I like mine. I also like my Chevy 1500. If you want to get an electric car, fine. If not, fine also. I don’t do the zealot thing, I like mine for engineering reasons, not religious ones.

  3. I suspect that the range numbers are inflated compared to the real world. His statement that “You could do the Baja Rally in this.” is only works if you have generators every 100 miles or so. If you get half to a third the advertised range off road you’ll be doing great. The recharging time kinda cuts into your overall time. At least with my old ’67 Chevy fishin’ truck, I could (and did) carry a couple of Jerry cans of gas to get me to the next gas station when I went bushwhacking.

  4. 1) Excellent closing reference

    2) The ONLY way I’d be interested in this ‘truck’ is if I find out that its angular form can be painted with carbon infused phenolic resin in order to be invisible to radar.

  5. I wonder if it being bullet proof would make it illegal like body armor in those liberal Utopias where such a thing is banned. The irony would be wonderful.

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