My daughter goes to pre-school.  Every Friday the kids in her class bring in an item that starts with a letter of the alphabet and share what that item is.  The first week of school they started with the letter A and advanced one letter every week.

For the Friday of the week of the letter E, almost all the kids brought in a toy elephant.

Since then, it has become a challenge in the family to come up with the most impressive word for my three-year-old to have, to top all the other kids and their parents.

Today is the letter V.

I offered to give my daughter a wooden Claymore broadsword that I made for a Halloween costume years ago, and have her word be Vorpal.

Vorpal: fatal
in British English
ADJECTIVE
1. resulting in or capable of causing death
a fatal accident
2. bringing ruin; disastrous
3. decisively important; fateful
4. decreed by fate; destined; inevitable

The sword is twice as tall as my daughter.

My wife vetoed my vocabulary suggestion.

I understand that my choice of words would scare the normals (which was the point, I’ll confess), but still, I am disappointed.

 

 

 

Spread the love

By J. Kb

18 thoughts on “This morning’s parenting”
  1. Aw but that would have been adorable! Lil tot galumphing along with some industrial sized bladed business. Could have taught her to say snicker-snack.

  2. Bummer … it would have been cute. 🙂

    So did you send her in with a velocipede or a chunk of vanadium permendur?

  3. She should ask the teacher to come up to stand by her and present the vocabulary word “victim”.

  4. A colleague of mine had never heard of ” his vorpal blade went snicker-snack.” So I had to look up Lewis Carroll for her…

  5. Way back, my younger son had to do a book report on a biography or story about a real person. “We” chose Phoebe Ann Moses. ?

    Didn’t get any push back, but that was the 90s.

  6. If edged weapons are out, how about an ancient artifact like a VHS tape?
    Also like more than a few of us I first heard of a Vernal blade as a D&D weapon, then I read and saw Jabberwocky

  7. You do know that they probably won’t refund your daughter’s tuition when you get her kicked out of school?

  8. Okay, but TO BE FAIR –

    J.kb ALSO offered it for S week, for “sword.” I mentioned it’s consideration to the preschool teachers, who laughed and agreed that sending a 3 year-old to school with a wooden sword twice her size would be a bad idea.

    She does want to be a knight for Halloween, so that’s a win.

    1. Why do I get the feeling that in a few years, she’s going to be like Edith from Despicable Me? (N.b. this is a good thing imo…)

  9. It is good to be ‘that’ parent! My son’s kindergarten had the ‘family homework’ of filling a poster of his assigned letter. He was assigned U. After the flag of Uganda and umbrella we branched out to Uvula, U2 and UB40. Then came the evil.. Uterus, urogenital system, etc. He liked the mail system because penis. I thought the teacher was going to fall over when we unveiled it in class. That was the last ‘family homework’ we were assigned from that teacher…

Comments are closed.