Posted with jest in mind… do not take too seriously.
Say Uncle can’t help but shiver in horror at the thought of somebody actually pimping up an AK. I know many proud owners of AR systems that cost more than an upper class third world home (with hot tub and walk-in closets) and have no trouble adding tons of their own overpriced bling all over their safe queens.
AKs are like plain girlfriends: They will always be there when you need them. Yes, many men will try and date the hot looking redhead that every guy is drooling after and spend countless monies for her upkeep, but eventually she will disappoint you and leave you to suffer at the worst possible moment… just like an AR.
And yes, AKs are robust compared to the skinny ARs and the recoil is greater. You need to be a stronger fella to hold on tight and control the love taps of an AK and its weight, but ARs have a funny thing: they start skinny but suddenly they get heavier and heavier with new gadgets to then shed them, lose the weight and later gain it back with “new and improved” stuff in a sort of Tactical Bulimia. AKs are hefty girls that won’t make much difference what kind of gadget you will throw on, they will still take you for a wild ride. And AKs are like Gretchen Wilson’s Redneck Woman: You shop for them at WalMart and they are still sexy. With ARs you have to spend Fifth Avenue type and still might not get what you want since they are so picky and delicate.
How much delicate? Go to a range and try to catch a rifle/carbine match or practice whenever rain threatens. At the first sign of water in the atmosphere, AR owners run for cover as if their baby girls will rust or shrink. Yet AK owners will remain on the line knowing that their ugly sticks will perform flawlessly. Heck what other people call mud we call lubrication!
“But…but..but we can shoot 1/4 MOA at 200 yards with an AR and you can’t!” and that is absolutely true, but I really don’t care if you can precisely shoot the pulmonary semilunar valve of the heart from the other county with a round designed to stun hedgehogs, an AK will shoot within the general area of the heart and end the discussion since what it does not have in “precision” it makes up in a caliber that lets the individual know he’s been shot and that he should now lay down and stay down till Rapture comes.
And yes, the AR is a platform that is constantly advancing and coming up with new improvements. And the latest one is the Piston ARs which make them more effective and reliable… which we AK owners have known and shoot for 60 plus years. 😉
C’mon AR guys, drop the fancy girl and get yourselves a Dirty Woman in the form an AK.
PS: As I said earlier, this is all in jest. And my apologies to all the ladies that might find the comparison to rifles and different female genotypes somewhat disgusting and insulting, that was not my intention. I was just “insulting” ARs. 😉
This essay is so hilarious I had to share it. I linked it at my blog (http://semiautomaticheart.blogspot.com/) so everyone can share in the mirth!…Good work! /;-D
AK owners UNITE!… as if we aren’t already 😀
Even in jest this post would open a can of worms though. I’ve owned FALs/AR/AK and other battle rifle platforms, and I can honestly say that my AK’s (all four) have been by FAR the most reliable, not to mention cheapest to shoot, modify, and maintain (maintaining really isn’t even an issue). AR’s have their place, but not on my shoulder in wartime.
Plus, you can run black powder loads through AK’s.
How long will a gas driven AR last with black powder? My money says not too long……….