This from Slate:
We’re Raising Our Daughter Gender-Neutral, but She Only Wants Pink Dresses
Where did we mess up?
My husband and I have a frequent disagreement on our 3-year-old and her love for dresses and all things pink! For the first two years of her life, she was constantly mistaken for a boy because she wore gender-neutral clothes. We direct her towards books and other media that do not represent traditional gender roles (no sparkle princesses!). We ask friends and family to refrain from commenting on her appearance and clothing, if they can help it, and to instead focus on skills or interests. However, our daughter adores the color pink, insists on wearing dresses, and is currently obsessed with accessories. I am fine with this, though I hope it will be a phase.
After a few battles about wearing her sole pink dress when it was dirty, my daughter and I did some online shopping together and she chose a few more dresses to order (all of them were pink, obviously). My husband is unhappy that I encouraged her obsession by purchasing the dresses and letting her wear some of my old jewelry. He gets annoyed when dresses get tangled while climbing a rock or running and says that dresses and accessories aren’t suitable for doing most things. I appreciate his commitment to raising our daughter without gender stereotypes, but I also want to encourage her to make her own choices. I feel like if we push back too hard on her love for dresses and jewelry, it will backfire, and she will only become more obsessed! Help!
This question reveals something very dark and malicious.
Whenever I had heard talk about “gender-neutral” parenting, the idea was that the child is raised gender-neutral until the child decides what he/she wants.
This little girl clearly has chosen to be a girly-girl. That’s what she wants.
Mom and dad refuse to accept it. They are disappointed that their daughter wants to be a girl in pink.
Why? Why would they be disappointed in that?
Because this was never about the little girl choosing what she wanted to be.
This is everything about the parents waiting to be acknowledged and praised for having a gender-neutral, androgynous, or even transgender daughter. Notice how the mother says, with an almost palpable sense of pride, “For the first two years of her life, she was constantly mistaken for a boy because she wore gender-neutral clothes.”
You can tell that they are terrified that their daughter will continue to act like a girl who likes girl things, and then they can’t parade around their gender-neutral woke parenting around.
I’d go so far to say that they are upset that they are missing out on basking in all the glory and praise of having a “stunning and brave” transgender child.
Their daughter isn’t a daughter to them. Their daughter is an opportunity for them to demonstrate to the world how woke they are as parents.
This is child abuse.
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