This is the introduction video from Starbucks day of training.
What. The. Fuck. Was. That!?!
Here is what I learned the CEO and management of Starbucks believes.
We’re all racist.
America is racist.
Being “color blind” is a lie.
We have to be “color brave” whatever the fuck that means.
Race relations in 2018 are terrible, but it’s not the fault of this kind of bullshit.
I am 34 years old. I am right at prime “Starbucks store manager” age. I grew up in a multicultural city.
Here is exactly what I believe when it comes to race: I don’t give a fuck about it.
Every day I feel (and look) more and more like Walter Sobchack:
Bathrooms are for paying customers only.
Obey the law, work at something that betters society, pay more into the system than you take out of it. Those are the rules. They shouldn’t be that hard to follow.
I don’t have a spare fuck to give about your skin color.
Instead, Starbucks is going to lecture it’s poor employees about just how shit they are in this shit country with its shit history and somehow Starbucks will be the shinning city on the hill.
If you want me to think about color diversity in business than what I’m going to focus in on is Green, Gold, Platinum, and Black. Anything else is a distraction.
This is so pathetically bad that I am seriously going to do my best to avoid Starbucks whenever possible.
They are going to systematically pick open every racial wound until it festers and we all get gangrene, and pretend like they are saving our souls.
I hope those lousy sons-of-bitches tank.
Balkanization. By race, sex, income, schooling, hobbies, hair color, foot size…etc…
Like diversity training wasn’t bad enough already.
Colorbrave, talk about race directly. No way that could go wrong in a store.
“Welcome to Starbucks, I see you are People of Color. Is my White Supremacy bothering you? How can I make reparations for your feelings? Would yo feel better is a your Barista is a POC? Sir, please do not defecate on the floor. No, I am not being racist, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable. Here is a $1,000 Gift card and I shall retire to the back of the store and commit seppuku. Will that satisfy your ego? “
Unless the being is in fact descended from the honorable Nipponese, they/them/she may not commit seppuku, as that would be a cultural appropriation. They/them/she must find a method of suicide that is appropriate to they/them/theirs own culture. Unless your are a hateful whitey. Then you must stand there and take the rightfully deserved shaming for being a whitey. And it must be noted that you are a racist if you fail to agree to every single word of bull squat I just wrote.
I can’t tell anymore if I am actually being truthful or sarcastic. It really does look like something I could find on a college brochure//
The point of Seppuku was to make it hurt. That’s why you slashed yourself across the belly. The message is “I’m not afraid of the pain, I refuse to be dishonored.” These snowflakes are too pussy for that.
“Every day I feel (and look) more and more like Walter Sobchack.”
You ain’t alone. 😉
“I hope those lousy sons-of-bitches tank.”
Preach!