Best Life is an online luxury lifestyle magazine for men, that was originally a print magazine that was a spin off from Men’s Health.
So… I’m bored, browsing the internet at one does during a time of boredom, when I get linked to this listicle in Best Life, 40 Items Every Man Over 40 Should Have in His Home.
OK, I thought. Let’s see the list, I wonder what I have at the ripe old age of 34.
Some of these items were reasonable.
OK. This isn’t bad. A have a nice collection of Waterman fountain pens. I hate ball points. This is sort of upscale lifestyle advice.
Sure, there is a lot a good cast iron skillet can do. Not my favorite for the stove top (unless you have a gas range) but invaluable for the grill.
This one is 100% yes. A good chef’s knife is an investment. A good cutting board to go along with it is just as necessary.
Some on the list gave me pause…
Why? This is why god and Leon Leonwood Bean invented the duck boot. A shitty old sneaker isn’t what you want to wear when the dog has to go out at 2:00 am in January in Chicago.
But I was getting the sneaking suspicion this was really a list for superurban* hipsters who aren’t quite sure what being a man really means. They don’t just need a listicle. They need an upbringing.
What the fuck kind of man doesn’t own tools? Seriously? I get not being able to do a big repair but without a pliers and a screw driver, how does someone change a toilet seat or assemble a Jagenpultz from Ikea?
WD-40 is a basic food group. That and duck tape.
OK. Now I’m getting mad. If you don’t have a pair of pliers, screw driver, WD-40, and duck tape, go to the store and buy them, right fucking now. If you don’t you have forfeited the right to have fuzz on your peaches.
Those are not items you buy. Those are items that you happen to have. Having to include them on the list means you never thought to do work before. This is the evolution of the trucker hat. It is a status symbol to other hipsters.
Seriously? I’m going to punch the first fucking hipster I see. No knife should ever be rusty. Ever. It means you don’t know how to take care of your tools. No knife should ever be dull. If you have a knife (and you should) and it’s rusty and dull, go to the trash chute at your fancy condo, pull out your knife, set it on the ground, and toss yourself down the trash chute into the dumpster.
A rusty knife is not for “street cred.” It’s a tool you fucking hipster.
Sure, some are more bad ass than others (Hell Yes) but it’s still a tool to be respected.
Holy shit. Only a luxury lifestyle magazine can take something so indispensable to everyday life and simultaneously misunderstand it and turn it into a pointless (literally) ironic status symbol.
This is a listicle from an online magazine for non-men who have never lifted a finger to do labor more strenuous than the scroll button on a mouse, have no idea how the world really works, and are happy to pay the 18% man tax at the feminist vegan cafe.
Something tells me “firearm” wasn’t in that list.
A WORN knife has cred. A SHARP knife has cred. A RUSTY knife means you don’t know shit about steel, and thinking that your rusty knife has cred means you probably shouldn’t be allowed to own tools.
“10-4!!” Currently I have “2” knives on my belt!! A $9.95 4120 stainless 4 1/2″ blade folder (spin off of a Buck Folding hunter) I’ve had for 4 years now!! ‘Stays sharp so I don’t have to sharpen it often. ‘Also has a nice burled wood handle which is unique! Also a Buck stainless 3 blade “Stock” knife similiar to the one in the foto. Also have the Buck “Folding Hunter” as my “Sunday go-to meetin’ or out Bar hoppin’ piece!!
Got GUNZ…”AND KNIVES”…….OUTLAW!!!!!!?,
III%,
skybil-out
More of a list of how to be a hipster bullshit artist, If someone makes it to 30 let alone 40, and has done any work with their hands, they will have 90% of that list.You dont need a stereo that shakes the damn floor, a good one that properly reproduces the sound correctly, not just loudly or is all bass, is a good thing, but if it just rattles the floor, either the stereo is crap or the floor it is on is, and if you have the damn tools you can at least fix the damn floor.
Like noticed above no mention of a side arm, or a rifle, and a good old knife is a great thing, not because it gives you ‘cred’ but because a good knife is good for a shit ton of things, and they should never be rusted like shown above. I would be embarrassed to carry that rusty old timer.
A vaporizer lol.
Apparently I’ve accomplished so much by the age of 29 there is little left lol.
I looked at the 40 pictures. I want that 2 minutes of my life back. (No, my fault – I accept responsibility).
What a flaming pile of pretentious crap. This can only apply to 30-ish hipsters with fake lumberjack shirts, skinny jeans, and boots. “Get a dog so you look like a real man”. If by the time you’re 40 you need someone to tell you that you need a dog, you don’t. If you get a dog to look cool, I’d be concerned about animal cruelty.
Like those twits that get rabbits, puppies, and kittens to put in their purses as accessories. We actually got several rescues from that.
Surprised a “well-bitten pillow” wasn’t on the list.
The #1 sign of being a man is that you don’t need a list to tell you how to be a man, and you don’t give a crap what some list says.
Very amusing and true, J. Kb. The source material is directed to urban dwelling metrosexuals.
Their only callouses are on their heals from their trainer shoes from the gym. Or maybe on their fingertips from grasping metro cards or keying at the atm/computer. The audience is those that would pay $425 for fake muddy jeans which was in the news recently (Mike Rowe burned them a new orifice for that one.)
They will be among the first deceased if the power goes out for any amount of time.
Real Men don’t need ‘men’s magazines ‘ to tell them how to look like real men. Real Men understand that no collection of material belongings can make you into one if you aren’t already; and that anyone who says differently is a fool, a liar, or selling something.
Have I about nailed it down?
This reminds me of the “tactical melonballer“.
Hey! The tactical Melon Baller works! It is widely used among the many MHI teams across the nation. 😀
Yeah, but they don’t use it on melons….least not the eatin’ kind.
I guess it shows my total lack of hipsterness that I thought a vaporizer was the thing that makes steam to help your sick kid breath. I had one of those until my youngest was in middle school. But I’m over 50, and don’t smoke.
The article was a hoot, total cluelessness, I’m surprised a hipster fake lumberjack axe wasn’t on the list.